Y
im freaking tired.
surprisingly, i managed to woke up at 6.15am today to go for ot.
hui fen called at 6.30am to make sure im awake.
**yawn**
came home after having prata for supper. that supper cost me a bomb man.
im freaking broke.
anyway, as ive always been telling irene, ive got no idea howcome i very li hai in tu-ing. by the time i laze ard n stuff, i went to bed only at 2am.
just 4hrs of slp.
**argh**
had audrey for companion on the train cum bus journey here.
we bought quite a bit of food to work. majiam like pinic.
think jariah is paying us to come singtel to pinic man.
haha
anyway, the day is okay.
6 hrs of ot = 32 calls
met this ultimate bo liao cust. really damn bo liao.
alright man.
3 more minutes.
and im free!!
but then again.
schedule today is packed like shit.
will be chiong-ing after work.
__________freaking tired_________
superman at
1:58 PM
Y
**sneer**
bu pissed cai guai.
**roll eyeballs**
can feel my blood boiling man....................................
FUCKER!
superman at
11:33 PM
Y
.fuck you bitch.
superman at
7:36 PM
Y
some people are just not worth getting irritated/angry/pissed off with.
save my energy man.
superman at
3:11 PM
Y
its so funny to see ah pek, ku zhang and wu shu shu discussing abt lan zheng, hui ling and xue feng.
haha..
especially how wu shu shu kept asking hui ling to chiong chiong chiong and to be more zhu dong..
hahaha..
damn funny..
even ah ma is oso hurrying them to get married..
OH!! n guess what??
ah ma is going to swim this coming tuesday..
okok.. its not really swimming. just merely go n pao shui..
really cannot imagine man.. shes like 70+?? and its gg to be the 1st time n her whole lifetime ba..
in case, u're wondering why is this old lady gg to attempt swimming..its becoz dr recommended her to do so.. apparently, the pool has this water pressure tts good for your body.
yup.
imagine ah ma in swim suit man.
haha
superman at
11:27 PM
Y
sometimes,
due to personal commitments,
we're unable to meet each other for say like 2-3 days..
we just communicate via sms n calls.
sometimes not even a call a day.
its so weird tt u're only in malaysia for like 3 days,
n i actually miss you more.
n we actually communicate, in a sense, more..
with sms, calls n mms..
its kinda nice and sweet..
superman at
11:33 AM
Y
its seems so weird tt i'll actually get a tiny winy excited when im talking to W.
**shrugs**
weird.
superman at
6:13 PM
Y
i'm tired.
i wanna sleep.
goodnight.
superman at
12:30 AM
Y
its real nice to have dinner togther with H.
ya..
seems to always be in the same mode as me..
n ive got no idea why H is so crazy tonight man.. practically went crazy altogether..
just laughed non stop at her.
at her crazy acts.
dunnoe whats going on in her brain man.
to come up with actions n ideas like these.
haha.
superman at
12:29 AM
Y
the nicest thing to happen to a person is to be hugged to sleep every night.
and at the same time,
to be patted to sleep every night..
that. to me.
makes me feel real loved.
really.
superman at
10:56 PM
Y
**yawn**
my god. its jst 9.30 in the morning..
early in the morning, got a call from irene, screaming over the phone excitedly saying tt the sim student portal is up..
hurry to log in. n who noes. couldnt again. coz programmes used are not compatible.
in the end, got to get irene to do it 4 me.
its so irritating man.. all thos poa slots have been snapped up. what the fuck. i wanna take poa in my 1st yr.. now. no choice. have to wait til yr 2.
anyway, classes for this yr:
tues afternoon: FF ECONS
wed afternoon: BB PBF are as follows
thurs morning: CC IBM
fri morning: EE STATS 1 & EE MATHS 1
**sian**
superman at
9:30 AM
Y
sometimes i think some pple are just such a slut man..
honestly.
u're really not pretty at all.
just a plain jane.
why do such stuff to yourself??
even if you stand naked in front of me,
im also fan wei man.
superman at
2:48 PM
Y
chanced upon mr stone's friendster last night.
oh.
his bdae is this coming friday..
24th june.
he's turning real old man..
mmmmm.....
superman at
1:46 PM
Y
sometimes when we chat over msn n web cam n stuff..
i suddenly think i miss you.
just tt i dont tell u..
coz i noe if i do,
u'll keep coming to me n ask if i miss you.
ya. but anyway,
my dear friend..
i miss not having you ard.
just a phone call away.
just an mrt stop away.
u're really good in comforting your friend.
me.
superman at
2:28 AM
Y
u noe what??
i think u're such a bitch man!!! stop coming over here to tiao po li jian can???
just jolly well fuck off!!!!
u better clear orf rite now.. b4 i attempt to use the broom to sweep u off man!!!!
n my last resort will be asking chengyi to come n sit on u.
no.. i mean makikomi.
shifu: take note. ur tudi has been bullied. please be on ready mode to do makikomi.. ur best throw ever!!!!!!!!!!
superman at
1:54 AM
Y
why the fucking hell m i letting myself suffer???
do i indulge in pain?
in cutting myself?
in hurting myself??
in abusing myself???????
.fuck.
whats wrong with me???
superman at
12:43 AM
Y
got this from an email idayu sent.
according to your b'dae date.
this is what i got...
You are Mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be Sad or Happy depending on your mood.You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times,and forget things easliy.You go for a person that's trustworthy.
superman at
12:35 AM
Y
its been quite sometime since ive felt so 'problemless'.
really enjoyed my day with irene today.
its just a very relaxing day. and i did bot a couple of nonsense.. haha. all for the fun of it.
after shopping at IMM, she came over my place.
had fun.
superman at
10:44 PM
Y
i had a good nght sleep last night.
sweet dreams and all..
but.
the moment i woke up, only negative thoughts are in sight.
ive already come to face the fact that in this world,
nobody can help me.
all i get is advices after advices.
who can do them on my behalf?
.nobody.
indeed.
i'm lonely.
how blessed i am to get such a screwed life.
thanks be to god.
superman at
11:23 AM
Y
tired. tired. tired.
superman at
12:24 PM
Y
mr stone cares.
he does.
thats kinda comforting...
im pleasantly surprised.
it just puts a happy ending to an entire day of shit.
im looking forward to wed now.
superman at
12:19 AM
Y
date: 13rd June 2005
event: completion of barrier
im sad to say, a barrier has emerged.
its a barrier btw people ard me and I.
its also an barrier I myself have to learn to get over.
i don't have the courage to get over the barrier.
i don't know how to either.
so tentatively,
theres 2 options.
1. stay on 1 side of the barrier, at the exact spot im standing on now and jiu3 bai3 qi2.
2. slowly climb over with all my means.
n i dont deny im swaying more to option one.
superman at
4:35 PM
Y
to whoever this may concern:
can we have a button inbuild in our body,
whereby a gentle push will erase all unhappy thought, memories?
i believe no matter how optimistic you are a person,
somehow these horror memories will come back to haunt you.
needless to say,
knowing myself supposedly well.
im way off from being an optimistic person.
************************************************
muay fan enlightened me on something today.
i must be real stupid not to realise it.
why does A have to know B trust him, b4 A can share his secrets with B?
shouldnt it be A has to trust B in order for A to feel more comfortable sharing his secrets with B??
i dont know if people understand what im trying to say over here.
*************************************************
the ball is in my court.
unfortunately, im born with butterfingers.
*shrugs*
always letting you snatch the ball away.
superman at
2:25 PM
Y
things are so strange.
so weird.
n amazing in a certain way.
someone who you love so much. trys to spend as much time as possible with.
doesnt understand you as much as your friends.
its even weirder how your friends can actually describe the exact feelings and thoughts that's gg through in ur mind in words.
when u cant even do tt yourself.
sometimes i honestly think that i must have been the biggest fool on earth man.
really.
yes.
ignorance is bliss.
you live in your own sheltered world.
you see what you've been given to see.
you hear what you've been told.
but.
have you wondered how people who can see things, hear things tt you cant would think of you?
people walk past you,
shaking their heads,
going "tsk tsk tsk.. hai..."
pitying you.
on the other side,
you,
looking so happy,
so xin fu,
excitedly, eagerly sharing your happiness with people ard you.
*sneer*
first,
you're treated like a fool.
second,
you act like a fool.
conclusion.
you are nothing but just a pathetic fool.
superman at
1:57 PM
Y
i give up.
superman at
4:34 PM
Y
FUCK.
im always the one who starts pointing finger at others.
but. at the end of the day,
i always see the finger pointing back at me?
i dont know why.
superman at
8:40 AM
Y
my god.
true.
now ive got 2 off days per week. but the extended hours are killing me man.
**sigh**
next week, i'll only be working 2 days.
mon, tues- work
wed-leave [sim talk]
thurs -off day
friday - intend to take mc
saturday - pei yan covering for me. [im covering for her now]
sunday- rest day
following mon - off day
m looking forward to next week.
i need a break!!
superman at
3:30 PM
Y
sitting at this corner seat again.
clothed in his jacket.
feeling warm n comfortable.
desiring to be in bed.
superman at
3:37 PM
Y
**sigh**
im so depressed.
really.
seems like im reliving the past like tt.
no.
its not seems.
its i
AM reliving the past.
whatever stuff ive gone through in the past are all back again.
feelings of insecurity, jealousy, disappointment and anger.
all back.
ive told myself tt i shall try to block things out of my mind. filter stuff out of my mind.
and not to be influence by things tts gg on ard me.
i want to be ignorant.
isnt there a saying tt goes:" ignorant is bliss" ?
howcome i just cant be that? howcome i just keep finding out stuff? howcome u just refuse to tell me the truth?
its not abt one's personality.
its abt being honest with one another.
i dun expect you to tell me your secrets. i just hope tt u'll at least be honest if me as to whats gg on in ur mind/ ur life.
is tt very hard?
**shrugs**
nobody noes how hurt i get when i stumble upon things tt i supposedly shldnt know a single shit abt it.
sometimes i wonder whats your priorities in life. i really dunnoe. most of the times, friends are much more impt characters in your life.
what am i?
a tiny, insiginicant fly somewhere.
really. honestly. tts how i feel.
after all those stuff i told u yesterday.
i guess sometimes sacrifices we made for each other cant be measured and compared.
**take deep breath**
im lost.
i just wanna cry out loud right here at my seat.
superman at
11:13 AM
Y
why m i always expected to think for others??
to make myself in other pple's shoes?
why cant somebody else put themselves in my shoes??
and think what exactly im gg through??
isnt it clearly obvious tt im super upset with whatever tts gg on??
even if pple noe tt im clearly upset with them,
they dont seem to make it a point to make me feel better.
m i supposed to make myself feel better on my own?
things dont just happen.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
sucks.
PLEASE.THINK FOR ME.I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME.
superman at
5:13 PM
Y
mood: super duper tired.
everyday, i go home with the goal of wanting to sleep at b4 11pm. but so far.. ive only succeeded for 1 nite.
=(
ive got no idea how i spent my time.
it took me quite a while to fall aslp yesterdae..
had been thinking alot last nite.
probably the intense brain activites made me super tired..
**yawn**
superman at
2:25 PM
Y
zei is leaving for jun's team tmr.. today is the last day we're having the same niang..
kinda sad man.. no.. very sad.
*sigh*
what can we do??
superman at
5:55 PM
Y
have i really gone overboard this time round? with all the subtle sarcasm?
im starting to think so..
n i being insensitive? or you're being insensitive?
who's to judge whos insensitive to who??
it just tires me and putting a strain on me..
really.
i suppose its the same for u as well.
superman at
2:09 PM
Y
sometimes i just feel like giving up...
i blame you for not doing this, this and this.
you blame me for not doing this, this and this..
when will all these blaming stop??
when will we get to work? n salvage the problem??
theres no point escaping from reality is there????
oh. fuck. man.
superman at
11:52 PM
Y
went for prata supper with the same bunch of pple again.
muay fan, zei, mr stone, david n robby.
its been quite sometime since we've had such a gathering again.
yup. was kinda fun.
haven seen mr stone for such a long long time already. ok. not tt long. just like say 1mth plus? but its kinda funny how shy i got when hes ard now.
he looks really shagged. my god. seems like have ages so much man. must drag him to relax one day man.
the prata is stil just as nice as b4. in fact it was better. sat there for quite sometime.. toking rubbish and making fun of zei's renoma.
haha..
was n my way home when zei called. luckily i had the stupid caller alert man. he called when my hp was off.
was damn stupid lor. when i call him back, its either not answered or his hp is off. n when he calls me back, im bathing.
in the end, he msged and told me tt he got accepted into com science. happy for him.
at least he got the course he wanted.
superman at
10:19 PM
Y
i am pleasantly surprised today.
after you asked me tt question on msn.
at 5.17pm.
the so called "the 13 precious minutes"
surprisingly.. today is the day.
when i actually dread this day...
2nd of june it shall be.
superman at
10:53 PM
Y
sucks sucks sucks.
things just sucks.
ive not been getting proper sleep for days.. or shld i say weeks. my god.
im DEAD tired.
i feel like a pendulum. ding-ing , dong-ing here and there.
m feeling real giddy.
after swinging here and there.
sometimes i dont noe if its good to make changes. or is it good to stay put to the grd.
we shall see..
its weird to have pple ard u changing.
be it changing their image or changing their mentality or changing their way of thinking.
its just so strange.
n it takes time to absorb and accept the change.
it takes time to adapt...
superman at
6:29 PM
