Y
a series of events leading to an air of discomfort.
intense discomfort...
**shivers**
the feeling is so horrifying..
superman at
1:04 PM
Y
yesterday evening was a great day. went makan with X, Y and ming hao.
its kinda a weird combi though..afterall all of them dunnoe anyone else tt well except me. funny.
n the best part was there seemed to be sth for green yesterdae. haha *shrugs* so embarassed to be walking on the streets together man.
dinner was great. movie was great.
shld watch magadacscar.
alvin told me tt theres this very nice exhibition in esplanade..gg to check it out tonite. so excited man. such a gd buddy. to remember tt i like puzzles. =)
after the entire thing, Y came over to my place. yesh. got smuggled in. hahaha. n ming hao was part of the plan as well. yesh. thanks to his sacrifice. tt on one found out abt Y.
whatever.
spent today morning, toking to sunya on msn. damn fun. but its so sucky to noe tt she doesnt trust me!!!!!
SUNNYA: it really wasnt me who said it lor!!!!!!!
***promise promise swear swear!!!!***
superman at
12:59 PM
Y
im soooo in love with this song... mr lonely.
so damn cute!!
superman at
12:42 PM
Y
i finally changed my blogskin.
superman at
12:42 PM
Y
"mei zi, wau kaoz..mi at the pool suntanning..then no sun ler.sian..then the singer for mr lonely tink its akon"
point noted. self.
superman at
1:22 PM
Y
its so strange how pple always formulate assumptions in their mind..
which they believe strongly in.
even when they're told the truth,
for a moment, they'll take in every words tt were told to them..
but shortly after..
their inital assumptions will slowly creep back in again..
eating up every words that have been said to them.
n we're back to square one again.
tts so like me.
superman at
11:40 PM
Y
this is like the 4th time im blogging today already.
im feeling quite angry n pissed off. i jolly well noe tt im super petty. but i dont care.
hate me becoz im petty. i DO NOT care.it sucks to noe tt someone else is currently in your shoes.. experiencing omost everything tt had happened to you before.
its as if u're watching a play. abt yourself.
watching things happen to yourself..
watching yourself disintegrate..
watching yourself do stupid nonsense which wld not help the situation..
watching yourself in such a helpless situation..
watching youself beg like you're begging for a meal tt u've not eaten for a decade.
actions speak louder than words.
we all know tt saying.
.but.
actions are so much harder to carry out.
superman at
9:28 PM
Y
im really damn confused.
fuck!!
n ive got no idea why i feel this way!!!
superman at
8:35 PM
Y
sometimes i really can get very pissed with somebody.. anybody in fact.
all these nonsense im getting from pple.
please. go n prioritise who, who n who is impt.
get these things straigtening out!!!
superman at
5:36 PM
Y
robby asked me howcome nowadays i dun tok abt
somebody already.
**hint hint**
hahaha.. tt one ar.. got xi already.
i honestly cant wait for tt stone to move.
whatever it is. i dont really care.
anyway, robby keeps encouraging me to try again.
heh?
mayb?? i dunnoe.
superman at
5:34 PM
Y
honestly. today has been a very bad day for me.
for the entire day, ive been pestered by crazy customers. telling me $50 can buy 3 tins of milk powder and dunnoe how many pampers. blah n shit. n ive got this super DENSE woman who totally drives me crazy.
and thanks to you who make my day a even
BETTER one.
superman at
11:49 PM
Y
lets learn a new word today.
TRUST
[noun] confidence; firm belief; reliance
sounds simple huh???
but i guess its hard to achieve.
there has got to be trust btw friends..
trust btw couples...
trust amoung family members...
trust btw you and me.
ive nv allow myself to trust you..
n ive since learnt the importance of trust.
im trying my best to believe your words and actions.
but all these take time.. i cant possibly change overnight.
can i?
true. whatever u say to me, i still formulate my own version of the way things are. but still. im trying my best to push all those various mutated versions out of my mind n concentrate mainly on the original one.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
i'll learn to trust you.
whenever i think theres sth u're refusing/unwilling to tell me..to let me know.
i'll force myself to trust that its something too trivial for me to know.
rather than it is something that you know will hurt me.
superman at
12:35 AM
Y
im blogging here just to say im stressed.
stressed up by lots of external factors.
so stressed tt i din feel like doing anything today. except to sleep n sleep.
superman at
11:54 PM
Y
after i blogged tt previous entry, several things upset me.
its so funny how the mood can change so fast.
the 1st moment, im happy like hell.
the next, im cursing like mad.
whatever.
tt damn batteries tt i bot suck. to the max.
it totally spolit my friend. i think.
all becoz it leaked.
crap.
n im starting my nonsense le..
i think im really a very petty person. yes. i admit tt.
whatever tt im not happy with, i wont pin point. unless i really cannot take it anymore.
i'll just activate the invisible walls ard me.. shutting everyone out.
superman at
8:41 AM
Y
here i am.. sitting down in front of the com, super eager to update this particular entry.. n eating ice cream cake to cool myself down.
yes.
i need the entire 1kg of ice cream cake to cool n try to bring myself down..
though tonite has been a rainy nite.
but still.. things were far too humid n hot.
n as i sit down here, i can smell salt... as if im a beach..
**ahem**
i was right, even if we were in some educational place, we wld still b able to go on with things.
anywhere. anytime.
we just need COOPERATION.
each fulfiling its duties faithfully.. on super high alert mode.
with tt. we can accomplish things n bring each other to the climax.
n we did.
i guess ive taken down a mental note as to where are our soon gg to be favourite hiddies..
i guess u did too.
was kinda pleased when i saw the metal railing man.. good idea huh??
u asked if i was like tt all along..
well.. tts for me to know n for u to find out..
**wink**
when i came home, realised bai baba n ming hao were out. ma was slping like a log. ]
FUCK. WASTED.
but i guess things wldnt be tt good then. theres not so much excitement.
anyhow.
i'm. dead. tired.
superman at
10:46 PM
Y
its been such a long long long time since im home at this hr man.. damn nan de lor..
but its a nice feeling.
i actually woke up very early today..was woken up by mrs ang's call. screamed at her, telling her tt i dun wanna go for piano today.. I WANNA SLEEP!!!
went back to sleep.
woke up remembering tt i had this kinda scary dream. i think ive been thinking too much of gen man.. tt i dreamt of her at nite.
**faint**
it was scary in the sense tt i got sort of like caught in a dilema. as to who i shld choose. who i prefer.
**shivers**
dun wan this to happen man.
its way toooo..i dunnoe how to say.
superman at
3:05 PM
Y
its so amazing why hui fen just started talking to me abt the ayjay's community today.. while we were having lunch.
i dont feel comfortable talking this issue at all. i really mean it. i just feel somewhat very gulity abt it altogether.
i was merely msging bee over lunch when hui fen just asked me who was i msging. told her jokingly tt its my lover.. then ive got no idea whu she just started telling me abt her cousin whos an ayjay..
sharing with me her views.. and asking for mine as well..
i find it hard to communicate on this with someone i noe whos perfectly straight. i mean there isnt any point.. most prob these pple will not see things the same way as i do.
surprisingly, she told me tt she thinks tt bi are the ones she "looked up" to. says tt they look beyond gender.. n of coz. opening up more opportunites of meeting someone who will be nice to you.
she says tt til now she has not met a girl who she really likes.. well.. lets wait n see..
she told me tt everyone had the tendancy to go off track.. it just depends if one is willing to accept this or just comply to what soceity expects of you as an individual.
tt sounds familiar.
apparently, she believes tt everyone will go thru a stage of inner struggle in the process of recognising who u really are.
tts true.
i think its really abt you really wanting to listen to yourself, or you just gg with the majority.
whats wrong with being different from others?
its really not easy handling an ayjay relationship. if you doubt this statement, try it then.
at the end of the day, im still asking myself.. m i a plastic ruler? metal ruler? wooden ruler? protractor of curve rule?
i dunnoe.
anyway, once u're in this ayjay community, u find tt u tend to pick up these members hiding in the crowds more easily. really.
its just like how gen n jace always give me THAT look.
superman at
10:25 PM
Y
how contradicting it sounds man.
if it was really never mind.. it doesnt matter..
i wldnt even hav questioned you in the 1st place.
its precisely it mattered to me, tts why i bother to question you.
superman at
11:00 PM
Y
came home n was told tt ive got a letter.
a A5 size envelope. brown in colour.
it has the SIM logo on it.
damn nervous.. heart beating like mad.
opened it n quickly scan thru the letter.
**SCREAM**
IVE GOT ACCEPTED!!
of coz i told my parents.
n the 1st person i wanted to share this great news to n whom i did share, apparently doesnt think its tt great a news.
oh well.
nvm.
*shrugs*
i'll live with that.
if i'm not that important to you as i tot i was.. i guess i better face reality now.
sometimes i really dont understand what u're thinking abt.
i guess u dun quite understand my thoughts as well.
so we're quits.
oh well oh well... this totally sucks.
nevermind. im gg to share my joy with other pple.
*to miss gym:
u've got no idea how much i like it when u always go: "jia you jia you! i'll always support you"
well.. its just a very nice feeling to noe someone supports whatever u choose to do.. usually friends dun come to u n say "i'll support you"... though they might be doing it.. u get what i mean?
ya.
sunya: im gg to sch soon!! i can finally tell u for sure now tt ive got a place in sim. will try to reply ur email soon.
m gg to sms shifu soon to tell him.
oh. 1 bad news is tt zei's ah ma is either hospitalised/ has already passed away.. im not too sure.. ive got to msg him n check it out.. but i really dunnoe how to start asking man.
im tired. i need to go to bed soon. m gg to pia OT this week. broke man...
superman at
10:59 PM
Y
hey. ive forgetten to update abt tt damn yuki man..
what the hell lor.. shes always giving pple black face... majiam i offend her like tt..
esp when i tok to david ar.. she'll always giving me tt kind of dirty look.
cmon lor.. david is ur bf meh.... anyway im not interested oso.. cant i just tok to my friend?? always give me tt kind of look...
same thing happened when i tok to robby..
what piang..
tok to my friends need permission from u itzz??
muay fan n zei agree with me as well..
the more u dun like me to tok to david, the more i'll go n tok to him man!!
bitch.
superman at
11:59 PM
Y
biggest surprise today.
kathy came to look for zei yesterday, telling him tt shes gg to take a photo of him tmr.. so we were like.. howcome need to take photos..
after much findings, my zei actually got some excellence award lor!!! my god!! i cant believe it!!!!!!! somemore he was picked out so many pple.. n hes just a temp!!
**faint**
n now hes super yaya abt it.
hahaha.. stupid ass.
anyway, today a new batch of newbies came.. ya.. dun really have much contact with them.. but theres this indian guy whos tmd yaya papaya man. ass leh! he double bank with zei lar.. then since today quite little calls, zei, muay fan, hui fen n i were toking n joking abt zei's excellence award lor.. n obviously we spoke in mandarin.. n guess what?? tt stupid crap went to complain to indra tt we converse in mandarin???
WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!
who r u??!! anyway, u din even want to response when zei tok to u... glad tt indra is pissed with him as well.
most prob jiamei is gg to double bak with me tmr lor..kept insisting tt she wants to double bank with me today.. n so hui fang din have any choice but to double bank with muay fan.. gg to force her to take the calls for me!! haha.. then pretend to "guide" her thru. hahaha
think i better contact joei n tell him of zei man..
sunday, we're gg to go ktv lar.. i hope i can persuade ma they all to go for dinner on sat instead of sun.. then i can go ktv with them... n hopefully get joei to come as well. mm.. think can celebrate joy's bdae as well.
oh. i just went into friendster. n so happened to see eileen's page... my god. she really changed alot man.. its a total 360 degrees change. cant believe it man.
**sigh** joanie is leaving this friday... my darling... hai..... so sian man... everyone is like gradually leaving.. what the fuck..
shit. now is 11+ le. think i better head for bed man... tmr work's gg to start early. dun wanna b late as i was this morning..
.sucks.
superman at
11:55 PM
Y
this is getting real irritating man.. tt stupid penguin keeps walking ard...
argh!!!
n shes restricting our movements!!! damn... today have to lower AUX time man... if not she'll be right behind my back man..
superman at
7:42 PM
Y
haven update my blog for sometime le... have been overwhelmed with things to do n so on.
from watching tv n vcds to trying to squeeze time for people.
**tired**
ive got a lot of things to do man. for instance, ive got a couple of friends whom i wanna msg.
robby: ask him hows his job hunting coming along.
david: hurry him to finish watching thr vcds so tt he can pass the remaining few discs to me.
sunya: noe more abt her life over at canada
rebecca: update her abt sch n stuff [super unwillingly.. she called me today, n i managed to brush her off, telling her tt i'll call her when im free.. then she somewhat like made me "promise" tt i'll call her soon... whatever]
alvin: check out whats gg on with his life
blah n shit.
n ive got to ask mr stone out one day to return him the jacket. apparently we're both so caught up with our own life tt we dun even have time to contact each other..
oh well..
anyway, i totally enjoy the past few days.. to whoever it may concern, mayb we shld have more of those times..
haha.
zei is gg mad. he keeps asking me to go n play this stupid game... *faint*
superman at
11:57 PM
