i haven gave my new year resolutions much tots. so thinking on the spot now.

new year resolutions:

* try my best to be HAPPY. no matter what situation im in.

* STUDY real hard no matter what shitty results i get. even if ive got to retake my 'A's.

* GET OVER whatever necessary stuff.

* MOVE ON wif life n continue 'rotating' wif the earth. ive put my life on hold for quite some time. i wann live my life! not the life others wan me to live. no way u're gg to control my life! its tt way in the past. but not from tmr onwards.

* ERASE unhappiness from my memory. STORE only happiness in it.

* TREASURE family life more.

* TREASURE friends ard me n keep in contact with them [i haven seen nerd cow for damn long le. shes the one i wanna meet up most for now.]

* be more TOLERANT abt stuff n learn to control my temper.

* do things PASSIONATELY.

* KP kp n more kp.

[[ 10.50 pm ]]

slept at ard midnight last nite. was reading some magazines.. n trying to look for a key ring for joei.

sat in for double banking again. this time rd, my buddy was anne. a 40+ lady.. shes very nice. n i must sae i really admire her ability to tolerate customers' nonsense. she has no temper at all man. really. yesh. we din really tok alot, coz she was busy doing follow ups. n 1/2 the time i was dirfting away.. not paying attention to the calls we took in.

isnt many calls today. but met a couple of super demanding customers.. n quite a few enquired abt CIS [corporate indicidual scheme].. n i really got no idea what they were asking man. how wonderful..-_-

din see joei at all b4 breaktime.. david walked pass me, so just sun bian asked him where's joei. later on found him during break.. posted somewhere very near zety. well, me n zety r still luffing over the cupid thingy. crazy man.

gave the key ring to joei. sun bian gave him this ring tt was meant to bind papers together.. n tt ass complained tt it was loose.. use ur brain lar! use the key ring instead lar! stupid! search for hard for u still dare to complain.

me: na, ur key ring
joei: eh thanks. heard u went climbing.
me: ??? huh? since when i went climbing? mad ar?
joei: muay fan told me u climb up n down to help me find the ring.
me: yesh! u own me a treat.
joei: treat>? to what? treat u another key ring ar?
me: dun b stupid. treat me to dinner.
joei: ask ur bf to treat u.

-_-"""

a call came in for him. so went back to my place after hearing him do the greeting..
' good morning. welcome to singtel. this is levi speaking. how may i assist u?'

what a stupid nickname.. levi? think junior is better lor. -_-

muay fan n i sort of made fun of robby abt lau today. haha. even called him lao shi.. n apparently his physics is hai hao.. according to him.. haha.. i really think their sei r so alike lor!

after work, left for the bus stops with muay fan, zety n radiah. was toking to zety abt the cupid thingy again.. n toking abt matchmaking n stuff..

the bus took so long to come. n dave n joei caught up with us. n we started toking abt our tls.. muay fan, dave n me are in the same team. under his indian lady.. ive got no idea how to spell her name. n joei is under this malay lady. apparently, dave found out from 2 CSOs tt our tl is not a nice person, but muay fan's CSO says tt shes nice as long as u dun go n irritate her. well.. we'll see.. anyway, we conclude tt rascism is widely practised in the office. great. coz in the office majority of the staff there r malays n indians.

went to meet rj. super pissed lor. im lke in a hurry n shes late for 20mins? what the hell man. passed her the stuff n just went off.

i think i din wake up at the correct side of bed today. im totally irritated n pissed off with the whole world after work today.

i just wanna be left alone.

came home, n slept the whole afternoon. today's half day u see.

xg called n i told her i really din feel like gg for the bbq her friends were organising. she said she wld go n probably come over n keep me accompany later. im feeling quite bad abt disappointing her again but ive got no mood to celebrate the new yr or what so ever. it makes no difference for me. im plain tired alrite?

n im so lazy tt i dun even feel like smsing my friends happy new yr.

anyway, happy new year to all my friends.

[[ 10.28pm ]]

i walked past my dining table n saw this A5 size [i think] white envelope on it. went forward n took a close look.

it was addressed to me.

n tt handwriting looks so ever familiar.

it was from iye.

i dunnoe why, but tears just started forming. not enuff to flow though.

brot it back into my room.

armed with my keys, opened tt locker in my wardrobe. n placed it carefully inside.

i dun intend to open it. though im super curious abt the contents but im afraid to noe the contents. when i shake it, there's some noise.

then went on to tok to yj. she strongly encouraged me to read the letter. n asked me to sort of give some reply to thank her.

put down the phone.

went back to tt locker n took tt white envelope out again.

*hesitate*

*hesitate*

*hesitate*

finally opened it.

there were sweets in it n a 1 pg letter.

i dun intend to reply anything.

the only reply im giving is thru my blog. its like if she reads it, good for her. if she doesnt, doesnt matter.

i din tot it was necessary for you to write sth for me. really.

damn.

i dunnoe how to continue...

*pause*

sometimes when u say sth, do sth or whaever, u sort of have a planned reaction to those things tt u do. but apparently.. things somehow dun just simply passed on the msg u want to n obviously the reactions u wish to get is different. n tt hurts.. to a certain degree i must say.

i dun see how one can judge the maturity level of another just by reading sth written by tt person. if u insist, i'll just take it.

when i promise to do sth.. i dun actually really promise. i mean its like to me the word 'promise' seems like so forceful n so unwilling n stuff.. so ya sure.. i can easily promise anyone this and that. its easy. i promise u, i get my way. but i dun keep them. promises are meant to be broken. remember?

i do things becoz i want to. becoz im unable to stop myself from doing it. others cant force me to do stuff. it isnt necessary for u to waive the promises. 1st, i cant remember any of them. 2ndly, if i still 'deliver' those promises i made, accoring to jiarui's dictionary, they r not promises. get?

thinking back, i can only remember one condition tt i promised u. n tt was not to cry anymore over whaever related stuff.

if i dun cry, its not becoz i promised u.
its becoz i DUN WANT to.

if i do cry, its not becoz i wan to. its becoz i cant control myself.

as for kank, water it by sprinkling water on it/them. bai baba said so. amount shld be approximately 2 handfuls of water? i dunnoe.. moderate. dun flood it/them. wanted to say make sure theone dun ruin the plant.. but i guess whether kank is taken care of, its not longer my concern. if its too much of a bother, just dump it. its urs anyway. as for the 1st chillis.. theres no need to save any for me. n tt saves u from posting them to me as well.

i wont be dropping any msges to arrange for a meet up.

i dun wish to.
n i dun see a need to.

which is why i din deliver all those stuff myself.

if so qiao we meet each other on the streets,

walk on.
dun stop.
dun tok to me.

even if u do stop n tok to me, i wont acknowledge ur presence.

just leave me the way i am.

in tt selfish state.

had the wireless data test today. n cheated openly again.. was trying to communicate wif muay fan whu was sitting like so far away from me when i got caught by irene [the trainer].. so paiseh lor.. but in the end i passed lar. got 92. not bad lar.. given tt i din listen to what irene was saying most of the time n playing with her phone n transferring files from joan's hp to mine.

the most qiao thing today was tt i marked jake's paper. its like the 1st 2 test, he marked mine. n the 4th one, its my turn. the 3rd one is marked by lee cheng. i suppose everyone passed as well lar.

went thru this trouble shooting thingy. n got this problem tt has to do with logging on to this cupid website i think.. n i dunnoe why.. sth tt zety did made me luff like mad for a whole 10mins?? NON STOP i emphasize. n i was the only one luffing out loud in the whole room [excluding zety whu was giggling next to me], trying to muffle my laughters.. n irene pointed tt out to everyone, n everyone was like all looking at me.. wha lao. so embarrassing lor..jake was saying must be joei's fault. which isnt true lar. i luffed til i really got real bad stitches.

met rj during breaktime to get the floppy disk from her. she wanted me to help her print sth. so mafan.. n made me have to decline joei's offer to play this online volleyball game. nvm.. play next mon. we're gg over to tepl tmr for buddy session again. not gg to partner lilian coz shes on leave tmr. n im sure not gg to buddy with kiro lor.

went walk walk rd sun plaza for fun.. then went to search fot cds. saw this cd tt has this pretty cool cover. n its 36.90? might get it. bot a pair of earrings.. i wonder how long it can last man.. it doesnt seems to look very lasting.

came home blah n blah. toked to yj blah n blah. n im really pissed off with bai baba. i dun wanna tok to him!

theres this person who always using this private no to call me. n it so happens tt everytime i'll miss tt person's call. its damn irritating lor.

now then i remember i must go search for a keychain ring for joei.. so dumb. he wants one so tt he can hang his ezlink card n the pass ard his neck...
-_-""" since he likes it so much, fulfil his wish lar..

Wednesday [29/12/2004]

met rj on the way home. shes coming over to use my com to do some stuff..

called mrs lin n asked her abt the tuition thingy. we have arranged for tuition next tues at 6.30pm. n her son is called eddy?? its like so qiao got not? but probably becoz its thru the phone so might be andy.. we'll noe next week.

after tt went movie with family. walked out to sun plaza. its been so long since we watched a movie together. n i paid for the tickets lor..watched kunfu hustle. tot the movie was not too bad..but i din like tt 1st part whereby pple kept axing others.. its like so scary to me.. i mean it. but the rest got a few parts tt were pretty funny lar.. there were these 2 ah bengs sitting next to me who kept toking in hokkien, predicting whats the scene? -_-?

anyway bai baba n ming hao kept whispering.. wha the.. its like so damn paiseh.

walked home n had a gd nite sleep.

today's wireless data lesson is damn fun n enriching! really.

but its really damn hard.. i mean im not tt high tech u noe.. gana luffed by dave n joei.. wha piang. n muay fan oso luff non stop lor!! OEI! not like u very high tech oso rite??? hahaha.

think now i noe abit more than sunya le. hahaha

n..n...n...n..

now my dream phone is no longer just s700i only. its with s710 n O2 XDA mini. tt one is damn bloody nice lor!!!!!!!! but then... very very ex. n its out of stock now....

*sad*

Monday [28/12/2004]

yesterday training was damn boring.. except for the activites.. super enthu abt the activites.. the rest is like.. errr... n i got sabotaged by joei to 'represent' our grp to play the weakest link. n i was the oni girl playing lor.. the rest was jake, david n dave. n the questions rite were like so hard lor.. my god. n i was the weakest lar.. but..the weakest won!!!! hahaha. yesh i won the game! haha.. must be i so lousy til pple dun wanna vote me out of the game. hahaha. got a notepad as prize n a lollipop. gave joei coz he helped me alot with questions.

after work, slowly slowly walk ard abit.. went popular to help muay fan choose assessment books for her tution kids.

then i received a msg from rj. she rote sth like 'the expected thing happened. im gg to be late.'

-_-... was damn pissed off lor. n she was like late for more than 30 mins lor. i planned to be late.. but in the end i was the earliest? DAMN!

n my mood was super bad.. when rj came, i just dun feel like toking to her.. left all the toking to pet. n rj asked me to smile n not have the black face.. im like -_-"""

walk ard in raffles city. then went chijmes. saw siti standing somewhere.. n we were the earliest again.

later on celeste n lavinia came. i think tt celeste is so pretty now lor..n really think tt shes too good for fake tm. toked to lav abt her yep trip. she went to india to bulid some rd obstacles i think.. dunnoe what lar.

rj made a comment tt mayb huihui will forget abt today's gathering.. like the other time.. n guess what? BINGO!!! she said tt rj nv confirm with her, so she arranged for work? she ends at 11?? what the hell lor.. its like the seniors r here.. n shes not?

those whu came:

table one:
-andrea goh [surprised tt she came n vivianna din]
-celeste [some senior ive nv seen b4 in my life, n she has tt lawyer look]
-celeste ong
-lav
-julia [she came like 1hr+ late lor, with her nonsense dressing?]
-charmiane [she waved to me n pet.. haha]
-ewan [she bcame more shuai.. n more friendly i suppose]
-cheryl goh (big) [rj says she looked like a xmas tree..hahaha. shes super friendly today lor]
-cheryl goh (small) [think she looks better last time.. now too skinny.. but still quite pretty]

table two:
-pet
-rj
-me
-siti
-nadia
-roach [she looks like a ah boy now]
-sam c [as usual]
-gerry [her hair is like a bowl..hahaha! n keeps asking rj to drink]
-dong zheng
-diayana
-helena!!!!!!!! [my god.. shes so i dunnoe what to say now.. dunnoe shuai/pretty.. just plain attractive lar.. hahaha]

actually the 3 of us were sitting with the seniors at table one.. but later on me n rj moved to sit with the juniors.. n finally got pet to join us.

the dinner was fine.. n we were toking n luffing n stuff...i din tok to helena for the whole time at bobby rubinos.

after dinner, cheryl goh (big) told us tt they were gg to shaw towers' startbucks for a drink.. later on they changed their minds.. n decided just to migrate to tt irish pub outside. so we all went there.

n pet made the right move to tok to helena! GOOD JOB PET! hahaha.. n tok abt tt kissing incident.. haha.. damn funny..

n tt rj hor.. what lao!!! spoil my plan!!!! actually i wanted helena to sit beside me.. then tt stupid rj just sat down lor!! n asked helena to sit elsewhere?? -_-""""

we went back at ard 10+.. damn tried by then le..took train with sam c, gerry, roach, rj, dong zheng, siti n helena!!

hahaha.. im gg mad man..

mayb if one day i'll b so mad tt i'll go after her man.. hahahahaha... if ive really got nuthhing to do.. n like pet says dump her 1 day b4 2weeks. im crazy. dun bother abt me. but honestly honestly..i think shes by far the most attractive person. yesh yesh.. shld have been persistent in asking her to send me home. hahahaha.

came home, tired, abit drunk..still watch tv?? n watch til damn happy... =)

huihui says she'll book a chalet in march. hopefully. n i'll definitely make helena stay over!!! hahaha...



the seniors treated us drinks. tt was great lar.

DAMN!!! muay fan just informed me tt victoria neo is the PROM QUEEN!!!!!!!!

I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!

TT CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE??

PROM QUEEN???

*faint faint faint*

ending work at 5 today.. my god the programme for today is kinda boring.. n theres a couple of toys on the table for us to fiddle with.. *sian*

been feeling uncomfortable this morning.. just uncomfortable...

exctiedly told zety n joei tt im gg night safari today..n apparently josyln wanna organise this outing.. n joei suggested tt we go zoo..-_-""

today, from my observations, joei is a gentleman. yesh.

k back to work now le.

surprise no.3:

i was toking abt me not calling godma yet at ard 11.30+.. at ard 12+, she called.

hohoho!!

tmr shes coming to pick me up at paya lebar. shes driving desmond's car i suppose..offered to send muay fan home but she dun wan..shes too shy.. hahaha. then will go to my place to pick ming hao up.. n we'll be heading for... night safari!!

its has been ages since ive been there le..

gg there for dinner.. i wonder what.. with animals??? how exciting man.!

n most prob will get a hong bao..*cross my fingers*

she promised to bake me a choc cake..yum yum.. i tell u lor.. her cakes r FABULUOUS!!! she's been working at this cake shop called LANA cake shop in bt timah for like 32 yrs? n shes the best baker there?? my god.. *drool*.. love her choco cake.. remembered when i was ard 9, she ever baked a butterfly shaped choc cake for me.. was so pretty lor.. her coconut cake is fantastic as well!!

m thinking of gg to watch kungfu on tues nite or wed nite.. either with family/pet n rj.. provided pet wanna come along with us lar...most prob she'll think me n rj r two huge light bulbs.. i wonder whus actually the one man...-_-""

SHIT! i just promised rj tt she'll b able to come over my place on wed nite.. oh damn! there goes my movie on wed... nvm.. quick quick 'chase' her home.. oops..

a.aaron toked to me abt uni courses.. damn stressed man.. he advised me to take accounting n some commerce related courses.. well.. lets not tok abt these now..

went over ah ma's place after xg went home. as usual took javier to the playgrd.. bot him a looney tunes towel.. damn cute..think hes beginning to like me more n more.. hahahaha!

got a xmas gift from a.alvin.. a D&G shirt n a bag.. ermz.. the shirt is nice.. but got a donald duck on it?? n its in pastel pink??? *faint* the bag even worse.. got this 'wanted sexy sth one' printed on it.. i wont dare to use it man.

got a sembawang music voucher from a.ivy.. i asked for tt..will go buy a couple of cds once ive decided which to buy..

saw winnie's phone wallpaper.. damn nice lor.. this winnie the pooh hugging the tigger.. so cute! begged her to send it to me.. she did.. as well as this mickey mse one.. n i sent her the jessica's twinkle stars one.. now we've got 3 wallpapers in common.. so we have this pact to have the same wallpaper..cant believe tt im actually like so kiddish rite? doesnt matter.. im pure HAPPY!

anyway, tis afternoon, lau msged me. asking me how m i n muay fan.. n he smsed me later on to remember to communicate with my parents.. saying they love me n love to tok to me.. told him we're doing much better than in the past le..

today's lawrence bdae. msged him happy bdae, but he nv reply leh.. wonder if he changed hp no le.

ive been having a very weird temptation these few days... guess what? i think i may have been inspired by debbie.. hahaha.. i feel like gg to perm my hair!!!! hahaha.. i think im crazy.. a.ivy recommended me a perm.. said its just slightly wavy.. n looks very natural.. n the price...$168.. such a nice no somemore. if im really cuckoo enuf one day, i might really go n do it man. n i'll drag pet to go rebond her hair! haha.. n after tt, we can luff at each other. if not go with a.ivy when she finally goes to do her spa perm.. my hair is far too short to try tt.

but definitly, at the end of the day, i'll get a huge scolding from ma one. guarantted plus lots of chop. will not tell her.. do already then say.. she cant do anything abt it anyway. haha

30 more days b4 i can draw my salary!! be patient..be patient..

m looking forward to tmr's training.. actually miss zety n joei u noe.. its like having 3 days off w/o their nonsense! im crazy man.. just last week, im dreading everything.. now im looking forward to it.. tmr's course will be customer care programme, so shld be quite fun..will get to noe all the functions of the callmaster. *excited*

this coming week is gg to be fun!

m off to bed..*snore snore snore*

*note:
today im PURE PURE PURE HAPPY!!!!! im as contented as a baby... *grin*
dun ask me why.. probably becoz its my monthly bdae today!!!! n i started the day rite!
*beam beam beam*

happy monthly bdae jiarui!!
*muack*

[[ 10.48pm ]]

early in the morning xg complaint tt my phone kept beeping til she cant slp. ?? din noe.. was too sound aslp.. had a nice nice dream mah..

rj msged me to wake her up b4 10. ?? so funny lor..then the next msg by her oso.. sae she wake up le.. dun need to call her animore.. how weird.

had 2 surprises since this morning..

one: somebody msged me happy monthly bdae. *beam* its nice of u to remember.. afterall we're the only two stupid ass i guess whu celebrate our monthly bdae..thank you. guess i do look forward to my monthly bdae now.

two: i just checked my email. irene actually sent me a e-card.. heh?? din expect her to send.. not like we tok to each other like tt... abit the crazy i think.

xmas was so so.. went shopping with xg.. looking for things to buy once ive got my salary.. still got slightly less than 1 mth... argh!!! i so so so badly wanna get tt wallet!!!! i MUST get it! xg says im mad..kept begging her to get for me for xmas.. no jiu shi no.. *sulk*

later went to get a logcake then went back to my place. nobody was at home except the 2 of us.. had this crazy idea to make a tu po in my cooking skills.. so... i decided to cook fried rice!! hahaha.. nv try b4. yup yup. so.. i cooked lar..i din even noe how much water to put into the rice cooker.. the 1st attempt turned out to be like semi porridge rice? damn gross.. threw everything away. then tried again. this time rd was too hard. nvm lar.. make do with it. well well well.. the overall fried rice wasnt tt bad lar.. quite nice.. but i refused to let xg eat it.. later anything wrong, wo bu shi si. so she had to settle for maggi mee.. coz both of us were two lazy to get out of the hse to buy food.

for desserts we had ice cream n tt logcake! had an ice cream feast to be exact. n i guess it was becoz of my fried rice n so many ice cream tt made my stomach feel damn uncomfortable for the whole nite lor.

later on toked to yj blah n blah.. n got chased away by her.. coz she needs to pei her *ahem*.. *shakes head*

toked to rj yest too.. toking a whole lot of nonsense.. abt julia's weird sense of dressing..m looking forward to tues.. janice is like so i dunnoe how to say lor.. msged her to ask her if shes gg, then she diverted away.. n at the end of the day i still din noe if shes gg..so ive got to like ask again i suppose.

tt pet hor.. winner lor.. nv even send me a msg to wish me merry xmas.. so mei liang xing lor.. must b so caught up with tt benjamin.. haiyo.. so disappointed lor..=(
see lar.. difference in status.. what r friends for man i wonder...

even chester so kiam oso got msg me lor!!! n jasmine lim gr lor.

qi si wo le!

somemore i was so nice to send u a mms lor.. what piang.. so creative somemore.. haha.. hai..

got applause from iye.

got many many merry xmas from others..

got 'dinnoe ur voice so cute one' from chengyi..

-_-"""

OH SHIT!!!!! i nv call godma.. damn!! wonder if she received my card.. hurry hurry meet up... im broke le!!!

[[ 11.33am ]]

Message to ALL:

hey everyone,

since im working at singtel, theres sth i would like to warn u pple..

next time when u try sending out sms, n ur hp says msg failed or what so ever, pls note tt u DO NOT have to send tt msg out again.

coz 1stly, sometimes even though it says msg failed, the other party still recieve tt msg. so it means u're wasting ur money resending tt msg. n the other party would be receiving multiple copies.

2ndly, even if it says msg failure, the msg has been captured by the servers. n it'll automatically be sent out once the servers work.

lastly, ur msg dun get sent out becoz of server congestion. so dun try to resend immed. it'll futher conjest the servers, making the whole situation worse.


understand?

yesh yesh. tts all.. n merry christmas to all!

love always,
tikiboom

had the double banking thingy tosday again. requested to buddy with lilian again. n in the end, i got to buddy with her friend, hiro as well.

today is such a busy day. i sat down there for 3.5n hrs.. received 44 calls. n what the hell lor.. think got at least 15 calls abt not being able to send out sms.. n have to keep repeating.. tt is like so irritating lor!!!! poor lilian has to keep copying pasting tt si notes. its so dumb. n some callers are just plain rude. its really stupid until can die one lor.. hate to have to explain to those ah peks abt mms n stuff like tt.. really like retarded.. what the hell.. waste my time.

loiter ard j8 to pass sunya the presents. what piang.. they were so heavy lor.. carry them from sembawang to amk, then from amk to bishan, then from bishan to yishun.. my fingers got blisters le lor.. i hope kank wont xie4 upon delivery lor.

changed my mind abt asking muay fan coz they were meeting at 5.. can see tt muay fan is damn tired. so m i. yup, so ask sunya. actually asked ren jun one.. but very mafan for me as well..so now i own sunya a treat after i get my pay.

passed the presents over to sunya at 4+. then went home. called xg n told her im really tired today.. no mood to go for any xmas celebrations.. then she said nvm, she'll come over my place.. ok lor.. probably later we'll b gg to the 'beach' at SAF yacht club there.. dunnoe lar.. see how 1st.

iye msged me to say thanks n stuff.. the entire msg just make my heart sank so low..*sigh*

whaever.

ren jun asked me to msg janice abt the ij gathering next wk. yup. so next tues, we'll b having tt postponed ij gathering at chijmes at 7pm. will go after work lar.. n will meet up with pet n rj 1st n laze ard itylink area i suppose.. i hope this time round the thigny wont be cancelled again. its like so sickening one lor...

anyway, merry xmas.

[[ 7.02pm ]]

THURSDAY [23/12/2004]

has our roaming test today. n it wasnt really tt difficult.. still got no idea how we fare for tt paper.. lee cheng collected it back to mark. yesh. zety, me n joei had open discussion.. i mean we tried to be discreet abt it.. but still.. kinda loud i think.. n joslyn kept using tt network thingy to msg me to ask me for the ans. -_-... the best part was tt u can actually ask lee cheng for the answer.. just have to pretend u're not sure.. n she'll tell u the answer.. so dumb.

after tt was lunch time. had it at 12.15pm. just realise tt i forgot to write n send out the xmas card for godma.. shit man. heng joei reminded me when he took out his box of xmas cards. damn nice lor.. it was for some charity thingy. yup. n he was so sweet to give each of us 1 lor.. he only had 8 at tt time.. so just rote 8 lor.. said tt he'll bring more tmr.. n his msg for mine was :' nice being ur group mate in 3/4, merry xmas. hohoho!' so dumb rite? but the card is nice lar.

quickly went popular to buy the cards. yup. bot another 4 as well. actually was so suppose to eat as a team one.. but then coz i needed to buy the cards, n uay fan needed to get some stuff from watson.. so the two of us + zety + radiah went to eat lunch ourselves.

received a call from this girl called evonne while eating. apparently, theres another tuition kang tao for me again.. ok.. just take lor.. if pang seh me again, i oso can do nothing abt it lor... spoke to the mum.. sounds nice.. says she'll call me prob next wk to confirm the starting date with me.. anything lar.

took 76 to amk. was there on the dot. it was pretty exciting.. coz its gg to be our 1st double bank session! at last.

i got this CSO called lilian.. shes really a nice girl.. kept toking to me.. n gossiping abt some stuff.. n says tt pple r there r pretty rascist n of coz shared some experience she encountered.. n i was pretty shock lar.

heard how to use the call master.. which is like a telephone.. n theres tis mute botton.. which.. i'll b pressing soon.. when i wanna vent my anger when some stuid customers call in... just press mute, n u can scold anything u wan w/o the customer hearing them.. yesh..

after work, went to get tt tatty bear card.

got home, usual stuff.. today's exceptionally tiring.. think its becoz of te buddy thingy.

toked to sunya n ren jun over the phone til like 12+. n i haven pack my stuff lor.. what the hell.

b4 tt was writing tt tatty card for iye. dun tok abt it le.. its just so....whaever.

great! my mouse is disintegrating soon.. damn!

had a fun day at work.. the swings went on n off in the afternoon.. yea.. had a great deal of laughters.. zety came back.. yea.. n the three of us had an reunion again! haha.. joei displayed his nonsense again.. cant imagine he's 24 lor.

zety: whats twenty in hokkein?
joei: ji chap
zety: then 30?
joei: kway chap.

huh?? then i burst out luffing like mad.

zety even better.. she said tt for the IDEN phone lease thingy rite, IDEN stands for I Dun Even Noe.. hai..

apparently, the situation now is tt everyone is like having their own world.. as in with their grp members.. n having great fun..

mine grp is called 3quaters. i came up with it, but cant remember why. yesh, so we mixed with muay fan's grp, M&Ms..

as for the other 2 grps, we seldom chap each other. so, not very shou with them.

as for now.. im adapting to the environment. n tts a goot thing. feel more comfortable with the pple ard me.

but, i do feel stressed sometimes, esp yest n today when lee cheng covered the roaming charges n stuff.. really headache. n worst still, tmr got roaming test. winner le. n theres a high possibility tt i'll fail the test tmr. shit lar.. but.. im not gg to study. no work at home.

my nickname was rejected back. abt 7 of us i think. so now my nickname would be jiarui. dun think they'll be another similar name. joy chose one for joei, which is junior.. how stupid rite? later joei decided tt he cant stand it, n called himself levi.. ??? hahaha

learnt sth new again. joei introduced the website: proxy.guardster.com. i din knew abt it.. many pple din as well.. well, by gg to this website, u can go to the websites barred by the system.. yup yup.

so everyone went to the friendster website. long time since ive been there. realise victoria sent me a msg like 1 mth ago, but i couldnt reply her there. n now then i remembered tt i haven seen the msg keng boon left for me. tmr must remember to check.

read the testimonial alvin wrote for me. the last part of the msg, i couldnt really comprehend. he said sth abt me being abt to like calm pple down under stressful conditions, but i cant do tt myself.. i mean ya, tts true.. but howcome he noes huh?? tts sth i wanna ask him someday.. cant rememeber what else he said.. but jus remember tt some stuff he says just dun seems to be the 'me' tt im showing him..

im tired le. tmr will have a hectic day. got to go for training in the morning at paya leba. then transfer to amk for the buddy thingy.. damn mafan lor.. travel here n there.. hope my buddy is a friendly person.

will most probably be changing my blogskin part by part. yesh. found this real cute one. cartoon type. its very rare to have me choosing a cartoonish type k.. think i better go search for even better skins b4 deciding to change... being 'kiddish' isnt my image.

[[ 10.41pm ]]

zety has this HDB appointment this morning, so she isnt here at work.. so guess what??

i'm now stuck with joei!!

HELP!!!

ok lar.. shall not be tt bad. .hes quite alrite.. but sometimes really very nonsensical only..n n n.. ive got this feeling tt he sort of likes josyln.. yesh. shall ask muay fanif she feels tt way later on.

anyway this morning i dun feel like toking to anyone unecessarily.. having slight swings...

n muay fanjust tot me tt robby added me onto his msn contacts..???? n i din noe abt tt even thoguh i activated tt authorizing thingy? whatever lar..not as if i'll tok to him online.

wore my new pink flowery skirt today! n wanted to wear my black shirt one.. but.. remembered tt im gg to visit ah gong in TTS after work.. so better not wear black.. herd from ma tt hes getting paranoid nowadaes.. later he throw me out of the ward ar. anyway, i wore this grey shirt.. hopefully, his eyesight woulnt be tt bad til he registered it as black.

I SIMPLY NEED TO BREATHE!!!!!!

STOP SUFFOCATING ME!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for the past 2 mths, i simply hate it when my sis is coming.. becoz...

swings is a subset of sister.

DAMN!

in the past, as in 1/2 a yr ago perhaps, when in swinging mode,

i'll:

- feel very easily irritated
- kan bu shuang every single thing, every single person
- dun wanna tok to anyone, just keep to myself
- throw tanturms
- feel unsure/uncertain abt myself.

(any of the above)

NOW,

when in the swinging mode:

i'll:

- feel upset very easily
- think of iye non-stop
-> resulting in loss of concentration
- keep to myself
- be constantly aware of things ard me tt may bring me back to the past
- feel very 'cramped' n suffocated inside me. like overflowing emotions. but its not enuff for me to cry/luff.

(any of the above)


when i give stuff some thinking, i realise tt iye has been somehow registered in me as a virtual person not a real person.. i cannot link to her in a certain way. i dunnoe how to explain.. i just feel as though nothing ever happened n theres like such a big big gap in btw us.

muay fan is gg to b the postwoman on xmas eve. arent free to do it myself [gg to have a weird xmas celebration with xg n friends]. ok, i purposely made myself unable to do it coz im not willing to.

think by doing stuff myself, it will worsen everything n reopen the stitches ive saw with great efforts to close up the gapping hole in me.

i certainly cant take all tt all over again.

i HATE it when pple keep telling me what to do!!! DONT U NOE THAT!!!!!!!

if i wanna do it, i'll do it.

no point telling me what to do!!

ITS SO DAMN BLOODY IRRITATING!

the more u tell me to do certain stuff, the more i wont do it! the more unwilling i will b when im forced to do it!

so.. morale of the story!

DUN BOSS ME ARD!!!!

had a fun day today. finally. after 4 days.

5th day. 16 more days to go.

was dam excited to try out my lao po pass today.

had our last lesson with mohira today for this yr. learnt abt the red rewards thingy on eK. well.. not very effective. coz we were like msging each other thru msn n this inter network thingy. dave n joei taught us one. soon everyone will have this window tt keeps popping up with nonsensical msg.

did the test. 45/47! yeah. n the most qiao thingy is jake marked my paper again? haha. got all the answer from eK.. n sometimes provided by zety n joei. we sat next to each other u c.

went for lunch. after lunch was the course on autoroam. taken over by lee cheng. nice lady as well.. reminds me of tbl. haha.

joei came into the room with a plastic bag after lunch. then saw him taking out this 1.5litre ice mountain bottle, full of soy bean milk! got a shock n just luff non stop. where time i see tt bottle of his, i'll just luff.. haha.

me: joei, whats tt in the bottle?
joei: soy bean milk.. u like oso rite? [i crave for tt omost eveyrday now] i love it man! home made one.
me: ur mum prepared one ar?
joei: no, my friend.
me: aiya.. must be girlfirend..hahaha
joei: no lar..very nice friend oni..

u're rite! i bet shes ur girlfriend. hahaha. for now, all i noe is tt tt girl was his hsemate in aus. n shes called joelle. n they had lunch together at city plaza. im gg to find out more! for now joelle=dou nai mei! hahaha

autoroam service is damn hard! n damn tedious n damn complicated. theres so so so many scenrios man.

eg:

if A is a singtel customer, n he roams in a foreign country, how much will he pay when he calls back s'pore.

n tts oni 1 scenario?? my god!

n theres so many new terms..like re routing IDD charges.. blah n blah.. LDD [local direct dial]

*sigh*

my brain is gg to explore soon!!!!

n theres a test on autoroam on thurs. this time rd really must study!! got eK oso no use.

1 impt pt to take note:
i learnt tt Holland is not the offical name of a country. it shld be Netherlands. yesh. after 18 yrs?

oh, n i found out joei n zety r both 24. so old?? dun look like it lor! *surprised*

think tmr is on Pay As You Roam service..

hope tmr will be a nice day..

[[ 10.07pm ]]

helped ma 'saw ee' today. u noe the tang yuan.. yesh. ming hao kept saying tt mine r damn small. well, his are damn huge then! haha

called back ome during my tea break. just remembed tt the framed puzzle is underneath my bags in tt spider ikea 'container'! shit! later the glass/fibre/plastic cracked, how? n the best part is i wont noe lor.. coz its all wrapped up. shit. so paiseh to give a cracked frame rite?

so hurry call ming hao to help me retrieve it n place it on top of all my bags.. n i kept telling him tt its in a 'beary friends' plastic bag.. tt stupid boy got hearing problem i think.. thinks tt im asking him to search for a delifrance plastic bag...??? what the hell lor.. why on earth would i put a delifrance plastic bag in my cupboard? mad ar? wan my cupboard to smell of bread itzz?

finally he got the correct msg lar.. hope the entire thing is fine n perfect. if it really cracks, would the recipient pls return it to me? n i'll redo the entire thing for u.

shld b giving soon. muay fan will help me n stuff. yesh. if not sunya.

gg to finish dling a song. then tok to MOMO for a while then off to bed. no studying for VAS. only eK tmr.. haha. will learn from david.

[[ 11.07pm ]]

today is the 4th day of training. 21-4=17

17 more days b4 we 'graduate'.

sianz... my training ends on the 12th of jan.. such a long long way to go man..

had a werid weird dream yesterdae. was damn funny. i dreamt tt i became a swimming coach. haha.. teaching small little kids in the baby pool.. n saw a whole bunch of hc n rj judokas at the pool lar.. n surprisingly, they sort of 'transformed' to swimmers. hahaha. saw jm.. yup.. justin i think.. n my dearest shifu walked past me n saw a dollar coin on the floor, picked it up n gave it to me.. ??? how weird rite? i woke up luffing n stuff.

was pretty on time meeting muay fan. took the train all the way to paya leba.. damn sian lor..

for a fresh start, we r now all sitting in our grps. yup. so im with joei n zety. nice pple lar. n joei is real funny. shall comment on the pple in my team later on.

the day passed quite fast.. n we learned abt VAS..theres gg to be VAS test tmr. test again! nv.. i'll rely totally on eK. well theres actually this service called the logo download. n by paying $5 per mth, u get to receive different singtel logos everyday!! how interesting rite?? my god?? whu will wanna subscibe to this type of service ritE?? pple r like dling blank logo to 'overwrite' the singtel one lor.. stupid!

got our passes today. finally. n joei was so excited n kept saying:' now we can go to the toilet wif the pass.' the toilet is outside the office. n we need a pass to scan to open the door lar.

mohira shared with us her love stories n a bit of family backgrd.. n she was blushing all the way.. n teck how was like saying :' ni kan.. ta de nian zai hong.' n everyone just luffed out loud. n joei commented tt she was hot babe.. haha.. my god. what a comment.

had a little quiz.. whereby the 4 grps each set 5 questions. yup. joei said he was too fat to jump to his feet to ans the questions, so he volunteered to read out our set of qns. n zety n i were left to ans lar.. oh.. n b4 u get to ans a qns, u've got to stand up n say 'singtel'.. tts damn dumb lar.. but everybody was like screaming singtel singtel n waving their hands. oh.. n joei did a dance to attract attention.. *faint*

abt the pple:

some pple r worth mentioning abt.. others r not.

[1] joei

hes a real funny guy. n i still got no idea how old he is.. i guess 20 odd.. he just came back from aus with his computer science diploma. yesh. n he says he wanna jian fei n not eat.. but obviously its otherwise.. haha.. keep saying he's broke.. n thinks tt his hp no is considered a 'golden no' [it ends with 000008 i think]. so he plans to put it up on ebay for bidding of the no when hes super broke to get the cash. heh?

[2] teck how. aka robby [dave told muay fan one]

this guy is a replica of mr lau. the say is damn alike. really. n hes damn skinny. n ive yet to tok to him. n he has just completed his ns. yesh. n robby sure doesnt suit him!

[3] dave

a macho guy.. with great body, but.. the looks..average lar.. aniway, hes attached.. so lets not fantasize or anything.. haha. n i saw him taking out his shoes. yesh. wore green socks. yesh. he inspired me to go barefooted in the room.

[4] jun chang. aka jake [the one whu i sae look a tiny winy bit like jay chou]

quite a fair guy. n muay fan says her intuition tells her tt he likes joan. so ya.. n according to muay fan, her intuition very zui one.. well, we sure see.. haha.. he toked to me for the 1st time today. was in the lift with a whole lot of pple.. n we were gg home lar. n i din even realised he was toking to me. yesh. coz i was so busy msging chengyi. so wasted.

oh, n according to muay fan's very accurate intuition, joy likes him. so the thing now is:

joy->jake->joan

all the 'j's love lives.. haha

[5] david

ermz.. all i noe hes a very quiet guy. n i pity him during grpwork today. his grp got 3 girls.. n hes the oni guy lar. so.. joslyn suggested their grp name to be ladiesbird.. the ladies refer to the girls in the grp lar. as for the bird.. u noe u noe.. yesh. n hes the oni person whu kept answering the ques for his grp during the quiz. n they kept cheering for him..like u go mr bird. ermz.... well well well.

[6] joan

shes a girl who looks very mature. n she was from sr. yesh. not a bad girl i guess.. quite nice n stuff.. yesh. n she kept denying the 'fact' tt jake likes her n stuff.. funny pple..

[7] farhana

shes from vj. n muay fan saes shes very competitve. like joy. i dun like this type of pple.

[8] joy

shes a super bossy woman. i cant be bothered to say more abt her. bossy n competitive. in another words. kiasu.

[9] irene

the one with big big boobs. very proud n stuff. dun like her either.

[10] zety

my partner for counting down. we sat in class today counting down.. the time left to our next break. yesh. very nice girl.

[11] joslyn

both muay fan n mine tots clicked. we both think tt shes bisexual. yesh. im 70% sure of tt. theres certain ways of telling one. yesh. n i think she reminds me of suzanne.

last wed was the 1st day of work. everyone dressed very causally.. except for the few of us. n after a tok with lily loo.. the manager of sth.. thurs came n everyone was dressed so formally n stuff.. it took me quite a while to adapt. the guys wore long sleeved shirts with pants n leather shoes. girls wore blouses, skirts, pants n high heeled. except me. coz i just cant take the pain.

think the whole thingy is such a great transformation.

no more pants/ shorts/fli flops.
only skirts n high heels.
for me.

received a xmas card from yj yest.

dear yinjia,

i oso wanna noe when will tt day come.. when im able to forgive n forget.

jiarui

__________________________________

divertion:

called starhub customer care hotline yesterdae, wanting to ask abt the bill.

my god. their service is real lousy. took so long b4 a CSO attended to me. n have to pressed so many many nos, b4 im in the queue. what the hell.. think i sent like 5 mins pressing no n waiting lor.

but i must say tt the CSO provided good service lar. tts sth commendable.

for the past 2 days, ive been having very ermz..kinky dreams. yesh. n i dun quite like them. coz they set me thinking abt stuff. AGAIN.

my swings r coming soon.. n im gg to behave like a mad woman real soon as well...

[[ 11.51am ]]

SATURDAY [18/12/2004]

today is a day of mixed feelings. anger, joy, sad feelings.. blah n blah.

had piano today. wasnt feeling very stressful. yup. i managed to complete tt bach song a few weeks ago. yesh. n i din practised any other pcs.. so ive got to rely on tt bach pc to survive the entire lesson.. haha. m trying to enhance the pc by the expressions n all.. with the terrace dynamics n all.. kinda hard coz ive nv done tt b4.

was supposed to go for the john lim's service. decided not to go in the end coz decided to accompany xg for the day. shes been complaining tt ive so little time now for her.. yup.

met her after piano to watch some dvds over at her place. think both our sisters coming ard the same time. she was having pms i think.. n my swings are coming as well.. so sort of crashed n quarrelled lar. got real pissed with her til i cant tahan. so told her tt i wanna go off le. obviously she was damn shocked to see me just leave like tt lar. msged me to say sorry n stuff.. but i was too pissed off to entertain her msges.

went to meet a.ivy, beca, winnie n ming hao. went to get a pair of high heeled shoes. my current one hurts like mad. yea. so i bot a new pair for $37. it appears to be rather comfortable. but im not too sure abt it.. will try it out tmr.

sian.. tmr is another day of training.. this time on VAS [valued added services].. i really m starting to hate gg to work! n it has oni been 3 days..argh!

of coz. after tt went ah ma's place. javier likes the clothes i bot for him. was real slpy. so slept for quite sometime. oh. n i bot apple chips today. my god! the chips were lao hong one lor!!! damn grossed out by it.

the no rj, pet n i bet din came out in today's draw. hai...miss by 1 no oni leh!! forget it.

came back home n laze ard.. watch vcds blah n blah. ming hao was being weird today. guess he's in his happy mood today. helped me to spread the bedsheets n stuff.. was quite impressed. haha.

xg called n started toking n stuff.. have forgiven each other le. so m gg over her place later to watch the dvds again.

he tried to make up with me.

successfully.

yesh.

so ive forgiven bai baba le.

[[ 11.00pm ]]

dragged myself up from bed. shit man. nv study for the damn test. hope i can at least manage the paper with Ek [a system CSO has].. if not im dead! esp abt the Hi!cards n everything.. my god. a whole lot of chunk to memorise..

went to work. time b4 lunchtime crawled.. with us getting used to Ek n learning how to use it..

had to do a poster with zety n joei.. abt Hi!card services. i think the name 'joei' is so sissified lor..but..hes quite a nice guy lar.. at least i think hes quite gentleman lar..zety is a nice girl. n the 3 of us are pretty comfortable working with one other. had quite abit of time. now i noe joei's drawing skillss cannot make it.. haha

lunch break. the guys were adventurous enuf to go eslewhere to makan.

came back. mohira asked if we wan to do our tests now. yesh. started going it. sat btw david n muay fan. shared a com with her.. n took turns to use Ek to check out the enquires we have. later on swopped papers. n jun chang marked mine [i found tt out later].. n i think he look like jay chou lor! a bit lar.. hahaha. guess what?? even though i din study much.. but i made full use of Ek.. n got 87/88!!!!!

not bad hor??

after tt was tea break. checked out tt sony ericsson Z1010. my god! damn pretty lor! but damn think. 29mm if i nv remember wrongly.

n came back.. mohira showed us tt Z1010. she got the sliver one. not bad.. but i like the red one better. n she called thru video telephony to this CSO inside the staffroom. my god! the video was damn good man. min laggyness.. yesh. n super clear. went into the staffroom.. n checked out the "home" version of video phone.. damn pretty oso.. think the whole 3G system is so cool lor..

slacked all the way til 5..toking, reading blah n blah.. got to noe our team leader[TL]. me n muay fan got the same TL. i was totally grossed out when joei imitated the 2 er xin girl doing the 'yeah' cheer.

went somerset later on to meet xj. muay fan came too. she went to order sandwich platter from her sis.

makan, catch up on stuff n blah n blah.

bot clothes for javier. damn cute man.

came home. ma is in better mood today. but.. now become bai baba. i really feel like slapping him!!! what the hell lor. dun tok abt it le.

things just cant go smoothly for a day one leh! SUCKS!!!!!

[[ 10.53pm ]]

m toking to rj now.. while typing this entry. shes asking me stuff abt singnet.. erm.. excuse me?? im in the singtel mobile department.. m i refer u to my counterpart?? haha. funny leh.. dunnoe much abt singnet lar.

Thursday (17/12/2004)

- had a boring day..training the whole day at TEPL. im not enjoying myself.

- really cant stand tt irene n joy.. tt joy certainly dun bring joy to my life. my god. just kan ta meng bu shuang. esp irene.. her boobs are so huge.. damn er dao! dun noe what guys see in big boobs.. its just so gross man! n im definitly NOT jealous!

- went j8 to check out the shoes. need to get a new pair. saw one at charles n keith. like it alot. mayb i'll get tt.

- went to collect the frame. now its resting in my cupboard.

- got home n had a war with ma. screaming at each other like shit. omost got slapped. cant u just leave me alone?? im already very tired alrite?

- toked on the phone for a while.

- forced myself to study for the test tmr. yup. a SOP test. abt 100 odd pages altogether. din get byond 45 pg n fell aslp unknowingly.

Conclusion: Im starting to dislike going to trainings!!! with those pple.. damn shit!

its so late le.. better make this a quick quick one.

early in the morning woke up to iron my clothes dry.. took me so long lor.. n tmr ive got to repeat tt routine again? shit.

n i couldnt find my ic this morning. n i was so bothered abt the whole thing for the whole day at work.

muay fan n i went for the 1st day of our training. had a very very brief introduction. yup. then was down to serious work. there were 15 of us in the team.

n the stuff we were 'taught' at the beginning was damn stupid. we have to agar agar noe all those names of the key personnels in the company? for what rite?

aniwae, the 1626 call centre is huge! n u really cant laze ard, doing nothing.. everything is recorded n computerised. yesh. the no of pple on board, the no of calls in queue, the no of CSO taking breaks.. what piang. n all these r flashed on this 2 plasma screens..

the whole training is gg to last 21 days. no sat/sun. n there r really a whole lot fo stuff to learn. n the notes given out today is oni for SOP lor..n tts suppose to take like 3 days? n its like omost 300 pages le eh.. n think todae we oni went thru like 50 odd pages.. my god! learn all abt the price plans.. transefering of lines..n the requirements of setting up a new account.. n the no in phone thingy.. n the loyalty scheme.. my god! n those terms are bombarding u like mad.. xi means termaination, ci means change of instructments.. cost of activating VAS, various VAS charges.. n these all are just day one?? more to come..

we've got like a couple of major chpts to cover.. n good news!! after every major chpt.. there'll be a test!!!! YIPEE MAN! n my 1st test is scheduled on this coming fri.. argh.. must go n read up the file.. but mahirah[the trainer] assured us tt it'll be simple. hopefully. well..at least shes allowing to search for answers using eknowledge..a online program they have.

i really feel like im back to school again. just tt im paid this time round.. n i couldnt help but fall alsp in class.. w/o being caught lar. duh??

oh.. we were taught abt the 1G, 2G, 2.5G n 3G phones.. yesh. currently we're mostly using 2.5G phones.

im so gg to be pro in handphones n plans n everything. just shoot any enquires u have man.. dun need to call 1626 n press all those stupid nos before a CSO attends to u.

aniway, theres a handful of jc pple in the team.. n my 'clique' has like 6 pple.. n guess what?? IM THE QUIETEST??? yesh. i dun tok to ani of them except muay fan lar. they can view me as dao or what so ever.. i dun give a damn. i dun like those pple.. if like to me, they seemed so fake n all.. i dun wanna waste my time entertaing them.. let muay fan do it.. she is more than happy to do it.

yup so most of the breaktimes, im just sitting right in the middle of the 'clique', pretending to be reading the notes.

1 day down.

20 more to come..

*argh*

cant wait to go on board. its gg to be exciting.

n the definite thing is tt my brain sure wont rust. theres a lot of scenarios.. n all require critical thinking. yesh. so my brain would be pretty active. yup.

n they r surely not paying alot.. judging from what they demand of me.

but i'll last!

NEVER SAY DIE!!

n i just found out tt ive got brusies all over my body!!!!! must be tt day at ECP.. rj, u own me lots! n those brusies hurt alrite..

n i had a hard time walking with heels.. n my poor toes.. squashed like mad. n gg to get blisters le.. bo pian.. tmr then go buy another pair.. so tmr will have to tahan another day with my existing pair.

anyway, ive been informed tt the framing is done. n i shall go collect it tmr.. hopefully.. n mayb, sat go down to causeway to tt jiaying's shop to make the rice thingy.. n get a card.. n everything will b in place. for delivery. pet's gg to be the postwoman.

finally.

abt the ic.. in the end i found out tt ma took it.. n she tot its real funny to let me search for it high n low.. yesh.. trying not to luff when i asked her if she has taken anything from my rm. what the hell lor.

ma nagged at me n bai baba abt visiting ah gong in TTS. i just refuse to go lar.

chatted with yj n nerd cow on the phone. blah n blah.
n forgot to reply pet's n sunya's sms.. nvm lar..

have decided to go for the memorial on sat evening.. afterall im free.. so just go. got to get a white candle n a stalk of flower.

a.alvin called n asked me hows my job. funny.. asked him abt the price of the roses in his shop. $2/stalk. he must be earning quite a bit man. shld hire me go there do admin mah! stupid shit.

ok, wanna watch vcd le. watch 1 disc will do lar.. quite tired le.

[[ 12.34am ]]

ok. sudden change in plan. i decide to just wash up n go straight to bed now. im damn sleepy n tired.

i don't need
tangible items
to
constantly remind me
of the past.

simply becoz
memories of the past
will keep
coming back.

woke up late todae. qiong for piano lesson n played like shit.. coz im real slpy!! slpt at 4.30 in the morning n woke up ard 9.. *yawn*

went to meet sunya n muay fan to go international plaza. last min cancelled my plan to go sim lim sq to get the router.. no money...
=(

recommended sunya to go to kelly services n bizmax. actually me n muay fan wanted to avoid yvette.. but in the end 'bumped' into her.. yesh. n saw pet oso.. she looks weird with her makeup..oops.

must say yevtte super efficient.. sunya got an interview arranged tmr. good luck.

went bugis to shop shop. saw christopher lee..n jacelyn tay n this other actor.. christopher lee damn shuai lor.. as in more shuai compared to on tv. yesh.

guess what i bot today?? nail polish!! hahaha.. m gg mad.. came home n applied them on my toe nails.. n make a whole mess out of it.. n what the hell.. i couldnt find the nail polish remover!!!! n now ive got to go to work tmr with those ruined toe nails.. heck! nobody will notice one lar.

muay fan bot a bag.. as in handbag.. its just so funny.. haha.

went causeway to exchange my shirt n skirt. i refunded the skirt n got a credit voucher instead. good.

came home. makan. blah n blah. ma was tmd irritating. keep nagging non stop. din even register what she said. finally i couldnt take it, just spoke in a extra loud voice:' can u stop nagging?? u r always nagging at me the moment i stepped into the hse. n im always the one whu gana ur nagging. why? why?'

then she stopped her nonsense. prefect. just what i wanted.

ah gong is in hospital. n ma nagged at bai baba for not visiting him.. blah n blah.. n she asked me to go n visit him alone tmr after work. how u mad?? u're my ma.. dun u noe tt i hate to go hospital?? ok.. its not hate. im afraid to? even my friends noe alrite..just gave her the 'no way' look.

toked to sunya just now. she told me some stuff abt iye's blog. sth abt theres sth wrong with her health. all i can say is i do hope u take care of urself. no point pushing urself to do things when u noe u cant n are not suppose to. theres a limit to everything. health is lots more impty than anything else. tts all.

dreamt abt her yesterdae. in the dream, she kept saeing she wanna buy this 'm&n' for me.. its like those in very nice toy boxes.. n somehow i noe its the last gift for me from her.. n i kept pressing her to tell me whats wrong.. i din slp long enuf to find out n for the rest of the dream i was looking for her.. so tt i could tell her tt i rather she stay with me..instead of giving me tt last gift n leave me..but...its pretty clear tt i din get the chance huh?

n the best combination.. LPG n PAPAYA oso appeared in the dream. must slap myself to quickly wake up. but had a fun time screaming at PAPAYA in the dream. hahaha..

rj msged me just now to inform me tt the ij gathering has been postponed til after xmas.. zai zai one.. m not even sure if the whole thing will be carried out not.. well.. at least now mayb julia, lav, sam chua n janice can go... n ive yet to sms janice. shit.

m gg to watch tv.. obviously! will force myself to slp at 1. got to wake up early tmr to iron my new shirt..-_- i just wash it today..i mean tonite.

m pretty excited abt tmr. n really praying damn hard tt i wont see yuwei there!! it'll b so awkward man..

m now thinking if i shld msg iye...

ok.. no. i wont. the care n concern i give iye doesnt have to be 'recognised'. at least tts my theory for now. n i dun wanna disturb iye's new life now. its only fair tt both of us get on with our own new life w/o each other. yesh. *take deep deep breathe*


*with the help of sunya:

wo2 zhou3 wo3 de2 du3 mu1 qiao2,

ni3 zhou3 ni3 de3 yang3 guang1 dao4.



[[ 11.35pm ]]

wo2 zhou3 wo3 de2 du3 mu1 qiao2, ni3 zhou3 ni3 de2...[i dunnoe what's the nest phrase le]

yesh..

it means to go our separate ways.

im going to go my own way now..

n ive decided tt i dun need someone of special status to walk hand in hand on this path with me.

i wanna walk ALONE.

at least for now.


*diversion:
rj was damn mean today lor. she couldnt ride straight. while pet can. n she said:' i noe why i cant cycle straight le.. coz the person holding on to me isnt straight.'

-_-"""

fine. ive got nothing more to argue about.

[[ 12.23am ]]

noe sth? i really cant believe tt john lim is dead.. i mean i dun really noe him.. or have close contact with him.. but still?

its like.. how do i sae it.. i sort of assume tt everyone ard me will stay alive like tt..

great grandpa passed away when i was in pri 6.. til now i still have this erm.. thinking tt hes not dead u noe.. its hard to explain. i dun think theres sth wrong with me.. i dun imagine tt hes there.. i oso dunnoe how to sae.. whaever it is.. hes just still there in my life..

john lim is so young n hes already dead? its really scary to think of it. mayb tmr i may be dead as well.. brrrr...

well.. i agree with sunya. at least he died with his wife.. n they were on honeymoon there.. so shld be happy with each other.. ya.. so u noe, u sort of passed on being happy n with someone u deeply love...tts in way a very xin fu de shi..

if i get to die in this state, i really dun mind. really.

its a happy death.

yesh.

[[ 12.27am ]]

had a relatively fun day todae..

it was like having pt all over again.

n i finally eat mcdonald's.. after so long..rj treated me lunch today to celebrate her promotion to j2 n to 1st dan itzz?? not too sure abt all this dan thingy.

we met at paya leba. as in pet, rj, benjamin n me. then took 135 to east coast. yup.

had lunch at macs. bo pian hav to eat coz tts like the oni thing there.. was so funny lor.. benjamin's special order was done in the wrong way. i forgotten which burger he ate. but anyway, he wanted bread, beef n onions n no pickles. the 1st order came. bread, beef, pickles n no onions. we told him to go change it. then came another burger.. this time even better. beef, n bread oni.. he eat til he fumed man.. haha

then went to rent bikes. oni pet n rj rented. coz they wanted to learn.. yes. so me n benjamin taught them.. n i was honestly a lousy teacher lar.. in the end, pet could cycle abit by her own.. n rj still couldnt? aniwae the conclusion is i had a damn tiring time trying to support the combined weight of rj n the bike.. n running/brisk walking at the same time? my god! just kill me!

finally the 2 hrs were up.. couldnt take it animore.

hang ard for a while, cleaned up then went off to take 31 to tpy. to see minitoon at hang ten?? n to buy 4D? haha

passed a playgrd on the way to the bus stop. took a couple of photos. haha.. memories of us hanging ard at the playgrd near ij singing songs?? hahaha.. abt 'snow fairy is pretty'.. hahaha..

talked alot of crap on the bus.. blah n blah. couldnt remember what oso.

oh i found out tt helena is not gg for the ij gathering this sat. n janice isnt oso..

why?? i miss janice. gg to msg her tmr n hopefully can persuade her to come. she's my fav senior.. coz she really treated me damn well n stuff lar.. remembered tt she was the one who accompanied me on tt nite when rj, pet n chiang went for tt stupid shine jesus shine thingy.. what piang.. leave me alone in the chalet.. so went to town to meet janice.. n we saw dearest anselm ang? n sort of stalked him? tts the biggest regret i have man! so paiseh lor.. coz in the end we got found out by him his friend? tmd! so tui lian! n ive got no idea why janice has the idea tt im carrying a torch for anselm.. pls! im not the one.. its ______... *faint*

n huihui is definitly making the whole thing such a 'grand' thingy.. apparently she has invited every batch since the 96 graduating batch?? my god.. a bit the too much rite? big cheryl goh is coming with ewan.. shubing isnt coming.. m not looking forward to seeing ewan.. shes really such a terror man.. her trainings really can kill man.

heared charmine is most prob coming. great. mayb can ask her abt terald.. hahahaha.

pet n rj may be coming over on fri nite so tt we can go for the gathering together on sat. most prob walking there.. its so gg to be damn far from my place..but theres no other alternative..

went typ, bot the lottery ticket.. then went to all hang ten to see if minitoon is there.. he was having his break. too bad. then rj pei wo go popular to get pencils for ma. she saw her friend. i must admit her friend is shuai lor.. n its a her..

reached home at omost 9 n ma told me tt this teacher in ny died in an accident in new york. john lim.. so poor thing lor.

watched tv. tok to yj til like 11.30? then go n bathe.

just settled down to update my blog when chengyi msged. i really dunnoe how to comfort him oso.. im bad at tt lar.. i just cant find the rite words to sae.. most likely im just toking rubbish.

m gg to watch vcd later again. most prob til 4.

damn! haven practise piano. how?? mrs ang is gg to kill me tmr!!!!

nvm.. wake up then sae.

[[ 12.19am ]]

read yong xue's blog.. n he mentioned abt his prom n sth abt being lucky n winning the 1st prize..

for a moment i tot he was crowned the prom king.. was really stunned.

but turned out false alarm. he got some other 1st prize.. this sony cybershot cam..

will really be having a hard time imagining him as a prom king if he really won.

[[ 12.14am]]

PLANS for the coming week:

MONDAY [13/12]

got to call MOMO in the morning.

meeting up with rj n pet.. n benjamin is coming oso.. gg east coast if the weather is fine.. n gg to teach them how to ride a bike!!!! hahaha.. only me n benjamin noes how.. pet n rj?? hopeless lar.. oops.. haha..it is gg to be fun!

TUESDAY [14/12]

piano lesson.

gg to causeway point to exchange one of my shirt n one of my skirt. dun like tt. gg with muay fan. she wanna get a blouse.

meeting MOMO n gg sim lim square to get a router. hope decken sells it cheap.

WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY [15/12-17/12]

training

SATURDAY [18/12]

rj tells me tt there will be an ij judoka gathering at SAF yacht club. having high tea.. coz tts the cheapest. hui hui suggested having this whole thing.. like a farewell thingy.. tts the nice way of saying things. the nan ting way is to celebrate the closing down of the club. haha.. still remember how pet, rj n me kept chanting the guan meng da ji curse just be we stepped down. n apparently the curse worked lar.. what do u think?

m looking forward to seeing everyone. damn excited. like celeste, cheryl, sam c, gerry blah n blah.. heard tt julia n lav not gg.. coz they have some yep expedition.. so sad... n cara is definitly still overseas..

ermz... will helena b there???? hahaha.. wanna see how yandao she is.. shes by far the most shuai ger ive seen. just tt shes pretty short. dun get anything wrong. i definitly dun wana hav anithing in any wrong sense with her.. coz i dun wanna be dumped by her! simple. shes just someone nice to look at.

miss he yinjia called me so early in the morning today.. 7.48am? she just let the phone ring for a wile.. think she was expecting me to call her back.. wanted to.. but i wanted to sleep even more. haha.. din even msg her to ask her whats up.. coz i noe i'll continue msging her til i cannot slp one.. so 4get it. msged her at nite. n now its her turn to slp..

woke up at ard 11.. still tot it was only 9+.. called muay fan n asked her if she wanted to go sun plaza with me to get the framing done.

bathed. makan.

watched xi jie shao nian in the afternoon. beca's bao bei. not bad lar.. but think the whole thing is kinda ridiculous..

then went sun plaza with muay fan. was ready to use my atm card to pay for the framing.. im totally cashless now!! honestly. chose a black frame.. tot it shld suit the picture.. mauy fan dun think i really ruin the puzzle.. said its not tt bad lar.. good good.. i wan it to be a proper gift. i hope she likes it. paid 5 bucks for the deposit. tt one i still can afford for now. have to wait for ma to return me my money.

then went bata. muay fan bot this pair of high heels..not bad.. n i saw this pair tt i really really like.. but no no.. ive got a pair already. gg to wear on wed.

oh, there was this mos burger eating competition gg on.. haha.. damn funny..

then went back home.

watched the vcds again.. then went to nap.

then watch tv again.

now online.

later watch tv again.

endless tv..

SATURDAY 11/12/2004

stoopid me din bring along my piano books for lesson to xg's hse. so early in the morning on sat, ben has to sent me home to get them. then he sun bian sent me for piano.

went for piano. heard sth new today! terrace dynamics!!! 1st time i heard of this technique.. 1st in my ten yrs. m exctied abt it n looking forward to trying it out.. next lesson is on tue. ive been having two lessons per week since the end of 'A's.

well, then i went causeway to meet ming hao, winnie n a.ivy. went esprit to get tt tag removed from tt bra.. n the woman gave me a funny look.. like its my fault rite?

went metro n sensed somebody looking at me when i entered..guess whu i saw?? XIN HUI! shes working as a promoter for uob there. only during weekends.. toked for a while. then left n tried on multiple skirts. finally bot two. yup. then went Dano n bot another skirt.. really like this one.. really. its white in general.. pleated skirt n with big pastel pink flowers.. very nice. look so gu niang in it.. haha.. then went makan n then esprit again to buy shirts. i really spent alot tt day.. dun care.

went ah ma's place. javier is so cute!! n so kpo. when u spill things on the floor.. he'll qiong to get the cloth n place it on top of the spillage n stepped on it.. hahaha...n he gets real excited doing it. so cute.. i prayed tt my child next time will be as cute as him.. *pray hard* well.. even if i can't sheng,or cant get married.. i'll adopt one! yesh.

came home. finally. back to my comfortable bed.. not tt xg's bed isnt comfortable.. but.. is just the 'home smell'.. hahaha.. n i missed my sexy!!! purely just miss sexy.. even though it reminds me of her. well well well.. anyway, sexy is getting abit stinky again.. n ma is complaining abt it again.. must be my smell.. hahaha

called rj. n chatted. damn funny eh.. i mean some stuff tt she tells me.. but the biggest joke is tt wei juang sae tt he heard tt chengyi is from mongolia.. my god!! r u mad?? apparently i think tt the whole bps have the same misconception lor.. hahaha.. laughed til i rolled on the floor man!

n rj asked me whats my plan for my hair.. ive decided. i wan to have shoulder length hair.. no more short short for me. yesh. she agrees.. says i shld look femimine with shoulder length hair.. hahaha.. quick quick grow!
mayb one day i may b feeling crazy n go n perm.. like deb. hahaha..

oh! n i finally completed the puzzle!!!!!!!!! *clap hands*

sorry dear... i cheated for slighty more than 1/2 of the puzzle.. i simply got no talent[ not a tiny bit] in piecing the puzzle together.. forgive me. anyway.. i still took like 4 hrs to complete it..but i truly do it for u. no matter how i cheat. yesh. ur hair really makes the whole puzzle so hard to complete. glued the pieces together. was my 1st time.. n was super fun.. but my itchy hands sort of ruined the puzzle in the end.. a bit oni lar.. dun stand too near the puzzle, nobody will notice one.. i sincerely hope tt u'll hang it up in ur room when u get it. but.. whaever u do to it, dismantle it, tear it, chuck it aside or what so ever..it doesnt matter as long as u're happy.

its urs.

oh. n just so u noe.. u're the 1st person i made n assemble a puzzle for.

n tt puzzle is the 1st puzzle that has pieces more than a hundred.

now abt today.

xg got some stuff to do in the afternoon.. so couldnt pei wo.. yup, so i went back home to get my stuff n went swimming with beca n ming hao. beca was telling us all abt her trip to seoul. sounds damn exciting. it was so sunny n we were so happy abt it lor.. but in the end, we have barely swim for 45 mins n it began to rain heavily.. -_-... what the hell lor..

later on went shopping again. but not for tt long lar.. went esprit n tried on the skirts. but then hor... din really like the cutting after trying them on.. then..i saw sth tt caught my eye......... lingerie!! bot this flowery bra.. damn nice.. for $49. ex nvm.. as long as i like. i so long nv pamper myself le.. the next few days im just going to splurge!!!

got a xmas card for godma. very cute one.. hope my xmas card exchanges for sth i really want.. better still hong bao. hehe..

went home with ming hao. n showed ma the bra.. n we realised tt the stupid cashier din remove tt big big tag on the bra. how the hell m i suppose to wear it? tmr got to bring it back to remove it.. -_-"" so brainless lor.

watched tv, had dinner..the show on channel 8 at 8.30pm is damn funny.. really can luff like mad lor..

xin pin smsed me n asked me hows things gg on for me. he msged me abt the change in his phone no yesterdae. din toked much coz he got this physical test today. had to supposedly have enuff sleep. tok abt some nonsense n he said i shld hav approach him for tuition for 'A's.. n says rj tution very good.. *faint*

okok.. tts abt it.. got to hurry reply lau's email n go off le. ben is picking me up soon.

[[ 11.16pm ]]

nv update yesterdae... coz im tooooo busy man!

ive got sth to announce. yesh. ive finally learnt to let go of the pain n hurt.. n im totally just enjoying everything before me. yesh! things r so much better for me now.. really. can sense myself being happy after so many weeks. its a great feeling to let go of all the unnecessary things..*phew* n i dun think of ridiculous stuff animore.. really. *swear* Im damn proud of myself!

yesterday morning dragged miss sleeping beauty out of her bed n to POSB bank with me. yesh. was there to set up a new savings account for my salary to be banked in. n realised tt i cant have another personal savings account. so the next alternative was to transfer all my money (except a thousand) to a new fixed deposit account. im fine with tt idea. as long as i can take out the money anitime. this may be used for uni.. shld b enuff for at least 2 yrs ba..

n i finally signed up for an atm card. tts for me to withdraw my salary whenever i want. its ridiculous for me to always go to the bank n queue just to get moeny rite? yup. but wont be using my savings. just my salary. must save up for uni.

then we met muay fan n went to bizmax at international plaza. yesh. yvette explained all those long long stuff n contract stuff to us for like 45 mins? but she was damn nice lar.. n taught us how to fill up this timesheet.. what the hell lor.. the space given is so damn small.. even muay fan's tiny handwriting oso cannot make it lar..let alone mine huge handwriting. n filling it up is a big problem lor..

then we went shopping!! din bring money.. but ive already noe what i wanna buy. tmr m going to splurge
my money on clothes. went metro, U2, op, G2000, giodarno to try skirts after skirts, blouse after blouse.. headache headache. think i'll get ah yi to go with me tmr. ya.. n i saw this wallet damn nice lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really really. they agreed oso. oh man! n its the last pc. n ive got no money to buy it now!!! its 89bucks..oh man!! if i whip out my card, i sure go home gana whipped one.. tts what muay fan said. hahaha. very true.

spen so much time at metro lor.. went from the handbag section to the footwear section to the clothes section to the lingerie section to the watch section..tried on so many pairs of high heels n all... n we made so many trips to the fitting room..suddenly we bcame so hiao.. hahaha..n becoming so ku niang in out choice of clothes. nothing but skirts.

after tt, went over to xg's hse again..its the 2nd day of the sleepover watched the vcds.. my lan zheng long again!! haha.. i sort of forced her to watch it again with me. haha.. hes too shuai for me to resist. hahaha.. n i made chengyi call me lan tai yesterdae. haha.. he said tt i think too much.. n i told him abt yi hui n her tao tai tai.. hahaha.. n he says hes damn glad tt he transferred out of ny to hc.. coz he says we have weird pple in here. hahaha

was totally worn out by the shopping trip, so couldnt take it animore at 1am.. went to slp.

oh. 4got to mention. bela msged me yesterdae n asked me to join them for a gathering at marche todae. was debating whether to go n join them. long time nv see my wife/husband le.. msged bela n said: 'my dear wife/husband, can we pls change the venue? n b low budget?

n she replied saying:
'My dear husband/wife, hahaha you message suzanne or ren hui can? they organising it. i support you're proposal!! what a loyal spouse i am.'

hahaha.. yea yea indeed loyal spouse.. always flirting with cheryl.. dun think i dunnoe..*shake finger*

well told debbie abt it. n came to the conclusion tt she'll go if i do.

really wanted to go..miss my wife/hushband so much lor..n of coz my love rival..hahaha.. but... broke lar.. somemore must buy clothes n frame the puzzle(wich ive yet to finish??).. cannot lar..so in the end, din go today. kinda disappointed. *sulk*

lau replied my email! n on the day i sent him the email.. he said alot of stuff.. m surprised tt he sent me such a long email.. n mine was barely hitting 200 hundred.

this is what he sent back.

Hi Jiarui,

Yes i am in Australia Melbourn now in my friend's place. Have rented a car and will leave for the beaches and mountain area tomorrow. Will return on 21 Dec. 2 Weeks of holiday and longest i have since i joined teaching. Need this rest badly cos i am badly worn out.

Looking for job ? temp job is not difficult....... If you do not mind things like sales, waitress, packing etc. Anyway if you are not hard up in making money, just try whatever things decent that is coming your way, you will always learn something new if you stay positive.

The world outside is not that simple. Be very careful and mindful. There are a lot of traps. Watch out ! No matter what happened, stay kind, wise and learn to be more intelligent.

Since you are interest in music.....piano ? Why not create something out of it ? It will be fun, meaningful and most important the thing that you believed in.

Anyway wish both of you luck in EVERYTHING you do. It is an honour to bless nice people like you all.

Oh ya, May Hui and Pei Shan's mails keep bouncing back ? Any idea what is their new emails ? i still remember this email of yours is not the original one you have given me when we first met......sound like rascalgal sth sth one right ?

Will hit the cross road of my life next year, i think i will have to made certain big decisions soon, do wish me luck.

Ok, that all folks, Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.

Best Wishes
sy lau



hey.. im pretty intelligent le alrite... dun xiao kan wo man..

i do wanna make sth out of my passion for music.. but then.. things arent tt easy..*sigh*

tt day called up a music school.. they said they needed teachers.. n they told me they wanted permanent teachers.. n i would be bonded for 5 yrs.. mad ar?? siao!

n tt day read this advert in the classified.. says they r hiring piano teachers with grade 8 practical n grade 6 theory. minimum.

GREAT MAN!

ive got none.

*sigh*

how?? how the hell m i going to start this career??!!

nvm.. dun qi nei... focus on exams next yr n hopefull if time allows..take up grade 6 theory.. tt certainly is gg to be super time-consuming.. mrs ang saes tt higher grade requires u to learn abt composers n stuff.. n tt means.... nothing but memorising backgrd of composers!!!!! ARGH!!!!!

m posting this entry at xg's place. staying over at her place til i dunnoe when.. weekends perhaps.

gave up looking for a job today.. too tired already.. no more mood.. feeling so rejected n stuff.. so decided to enjoy myself n tok abt things tmr..

went j8 with ma n ming hao. he's getting a phone. so need me, the 'mobile phone' expert to help him choose. he got k500i. not too bad a phone. n asked abt the starhub broadband.. think its a good deal.. gotten sign tt up next mth. the lady attending to us has a super loud voice.. like da jie da like tt.. think its damn funny..

planned to go tpy after tt coz ma wanted to take a double decker for fun?? -_-"" so wu liaoz rite?? in the end becoz of the heavy rain we decided to go back home. im tired anyway..n i just dun wish to tok to anyone.. ma kept toking to me, n i just kept showing tt irritated face..

went home n slept for a while..was dreaming abt coming back home from a holiday n was holding onto a dog..n saw another white dog.. got a shock.. n b4 i cld scream, i was awaken by a phone call. yvette called. told me tt fantastic news tt singtel has employed me. n muay fan.. its such coincidental lor.. i mean the interviewer din even noe tt we were friends.. hope yuwei hasnt been shortlisted man.. its gg to be so paiseh to be working at the same place with her.. i saw her at the building yesterdae.. n trying my best to pretend tt i dunnoe her. yeah.. oh forgot to mention tt the other time when yvette called, she seemed surprised tt i noe how to pronounce her name...

aniwae, ma played ps with ming hao today.. the racing game again. oh my god. shes real bad at it.. got no sense of direction.. kept thinking shes going the correct way, when shes actually wrong. was damn funny.

yesh.

called xg n told her the good news.. n she said tt it must be becoz she went with me yesterday for the interview.. oh really?? haha.. decided at the last min to go over to her place. shes suppose to teach me tt little bit of excel knowledge tt she has.. n so far, she has yet to pass on any skills to me.. we were like playing all the time... toking crap n stuff.

well well..gg to watch tv later again.. n i must make sure tt she doesnt disturb me tonite.. must sleep early.. tmr gtg to the bank early in the morning, b4 going to bizmax to meet yvette to sign some documents. n definitely i'll drag tt sleeping beauty out of her bed with me!! hahaha.. no matters how pretty she looks when she sleeps... she's gg to b out of tt comfortable bed when i wake up tmr!!


[[ 11.24pm ]] --just in time to get ready for showtime!!

its 11.08pm now.

bai baba n ming hao are playing ps. n they r making alot alot of noise. at the rate tt they r going... ma is going to scream soon.. haha.. good luck to them. aniway, they r playing the racing game. n i must sae bai baba is damn stupid.. go n choose those lao po car.. how to win the race?? *shake head* n he thinks its very challenging to hav a lao po car?? *peng*

last nite slept at 1.30am.. smsed chengyi til i fell aslp.. from what i deduced, he seemed to be feeling kinda down yesterdae.. so must be a good friend to pei him for a while mah..rite? ji jiang yi qi yi xia.

dragged myself to get up this morning. couldnt possibly roll down the bed to wake myself up..coz my matteress is kinda high. yup.

becoz of tt stupid interview in the evening, ive got to dress formally..as if im really gg to work u noe.. met with mauy fan at 8 n went to aljunied for the 'training'. think the pple r there are like damn irresponsible..they dun even tell u whats the job u get.. n both of us are like 90% sure tt we r gg to be surveyors?? n we dun like tt idea at all. in the end, to go for the interview, we lied tt our grandpa passed away.. ji bad yi xia.. curse my own grandpa.. luckily we left immed after postponing the training to thurs.. if not we will have felt so out of place.. everyone is dressed so causally.. n oni the two of us r like in ...ahem.. nvm..

went amk to makan breakfast n went to the lib to send our resume. then muay fan left for her interview. while i stayed behind, reading female. n there was this section abt whether u shld remain as friends with ur ex. yes.

so the reasons below is supporting the stand that no. u shld not be friends after the breakup.

Don't stay friends when:
[1] u cant resit having sex with one another. becoz u still can feel that old comfortable intimacy and tt might bring up inclinations to back together for the wrong reason.

[2]you could never be urself with the other party.

[3]you're still arguing post-breakup.

[4]you used to fight all the time.

[5]you enjoyed more misery than joy.

whaever tt goes thru my mind when i read tt article will nv be known here.

well.. i was so bored tt i msged xg. n she actually came down to pei wo lor..such a nice ger man.. n i din noe she was coming..n was sleeping when she came. just so tt i wasnt disturbed, she just sat down bside me. sweet girl.

then mauy fan came back.. told me a whole lot of intimidating stuff.. said tt there were many applicants.. n were all so well dressed n came from reputable jcs like rjc, njc.. DAMN..theres goes out chance..

still went for mine at 4.30pm. got there at like 3.50pm? find tt pple working there are rather self centred. they dun seemed to be bother abt u.. n u're just left standing in the middle of so many tables, looking lost stuff.. in the end i asked this guy n he reminds me of wai kien...the interviewer is damn nice a lady..*pray hard*

*ps break*

played a few rounds of pocket fighters with ming hao.. lose like nobody's business..

oh, just now i emailed lau.. coz he sent tt photos thingy again..

feel like having a bbq.. if i really wanna hav one, may organise one for 6e.. then can meet up with francine n sandy..but meet up with the rest is gg to be kinda problematic..well well nvm..

if not, just meet up with the both of them n play our fav 'sport'.. MAHJONG!! + muay fan.. just nice.. 4 pple..but 1st we must bribe francine's maid.

just now was just thinking tt im actually losing memory at quite a fast rate. yesh. can only remember the bad stuff.. when i ask myself abt the happy ones.. i'll be like.. got meh?? n iye has become like just an object. i dun meant tt to be an insult.. but its like i cant relate tt name with the person.. u get? nvm.. as long as i understand..

oh.. im not done with puzzle. its gg to b so late a present. but.. better than late than nv.. rite?? its the tot tt counts.

damn lor.. my ankle fa zhou again.. cant walk properly.. m like limping.. xg insisted tt she brings me to a sinseh.. but i was like nvm lar.. will be okay after a few days.. she din sound very happy abt tt..

aniwae nintendo ds is out.. asked chengyi to buy for me.. n he asked for a car in return.. -_-""" fat hope!

i noe wat i wan for xmas.. but its not easy to get. ok.. its impossible to get. well..just a dream...just another dream.....

alvin sent me this email quite sometime ago.

decided to put this link onto my blog. n its dedicated to that person who think he/she is the person im trying to communicate with. those words are meant for you..from me..but i just lack the courage to say.

its a very slow moving animation.. be patient n watched the entire thing. the song is nice. i like it. hope that someone noes how to read those words. i rather tt someone not noe whats being said i the animation..than have someone else to read it to him/her.

l| for that someone out there|l

[[[ _ _ _ _ _ _ ]]]

12.24am

*ive mastered the technique of not letting tears flow. they just accumulate in my eyes.. n somehow gets drained off.. n im so good at it tt nobody noes im crying even though im 'crying' like mad. i dun even need to resort to using tt yawning technique. to others, im just being my usual happy me. indeed a great pretender. ask me. n i'll teach you some skills of being a pretender.

tots of the day.

in the past i used to watch those vcds as well.. those love stories.. i noe its pretty wu liaoz.. but then as long as im happy, y shld i care abt others' opinions rite?

yesh.. i nv understand why they alwaes have tt flashback thingy.. esp when the mood is supposedly very moody n blah..tot it was really a waste of time. n damn stupid.. but now i think otherwise. flashbacks do happen.. very frequently.. memories just keep coming back.. happy memories makes me cry.. coz they cant be repeated once again.. sad memories makes me cry as well.. thinking why do things turned out tt way at tt point in time. whaever it is..the eqn is memories = tears.

i wondered if the storyline in the serial is really true.. pple breakup becoz of reasons they cant sae.. or what so ever. somewhat like a sacrifice they make for the other party. for instance, the guy gets cancer, n breaks up with the girl w/o telling her the truth..blah n blah..mayb it is like what MOMO says.. pple do things becoz of some li you..n these li you will be told to u if they wanna tel u..

*shrugs* cant things b simpler to understand??

n i found out tt its is really damn irritating when one isnt sure of his own feelings..its is very unfair for pple ard u.. esp those whu love u. for those ive hurt, im sorry.. but i think this word is no longer meaningful in any way...
as i said earlier, i went to some gift shops rite.. i went to this beary friends..n saw the boss teaching this girl how to use this brush.. they shld ask me mah.. maria shld noe the best. its the exact brush tt i always use to help her brush theone's hair off the bed...

*deep breath* whaever. i dun wanna be maria.

*stop sign*
memory erased.

im going to check if i really got tt tatty bears bdae card. if i really did, i'll buy tt card again n return it.

im starting to swing again...

ive got so much to say today.

1st a quick quick update abt what happened today.

1. woke up at 10 to watch my lan zhen long again... hes so damn CHARMING!!! hahaha..im mad.. finished the vcds le..i watched til 3am last nite.

2. went for interview AGAIN. at international plaza. yeah. some agency again.. n me n muay fan got shortlisted for the interview tmr. if its successful, we'll be working in singtel? as telephone operators??!!! hahaha.. dun b surprised if u call in n hear my vocie one day. hahaha

3. went 'shopping' in sun plaza. n i think today i forgot to take my medi. i was going bonkers.. n luffing non stop at what muay fan said. if i wasnt wearing a skirt, i would have squatted down n luffed. yea..so the best i could do was to hold on to my stomach n luff.. pple were staring at me like im mad. aniway, it was like tt. we were in ntuc. n we toked abt the many types of pepsi in the market. [see, here i go laughing like mad again in front of the com] got pepsi fire, pepsi, pepsi ice, pepsi twist, pepsi light twist, pepsi x..n she said tt pepsi twist is more ex then the rest coz need they need pple to squeeze lemon. hahahahahaha! i really think its damn funny lor. think i luffed at tt 'joke' for like a whole 10mins lor.

4. went to those 'gift shops' to look for xmas cards. n i was keeping a lookout for bdae card as well.

5. came home watch tv, makan, tok to yj for a while.. hung up becoz i wanna play playstation with ming hao. yea. played with him. very fun. n 1/2 the time i din noe what i was doing..suppose to shoot at those bad guys n i kept pressing the wrong keys tt i ended up jumping non stop.. thinking i was shooting them.. oh.. n i mastered the techni of 'go stunting' in the car race, coz my car kept spinning round n round after i bang into sth. haha

6. m updating my blog now. gg to reply debbie's email soon. n oso smsing shifu. stoopid boy.. alwaes come to me when hes bored. 'scolded' him for tt.. n this is what he said: 'er ok la i change..Dearest jiarui what're u doing? Can u Pls talk to me i miss u so so much..(0_0)

*faint faint*my hair all qi li le.. though i dun have much hair..

n now im trying to get him to b my match maker.. haha..

7. gg to watch tv when im done with stuff online.