zei isnt here today. he had to go ntu to do some checkup.. ya. so i was left to lunch alone.. well.. i mean though we din had the same lunch slot, but still, if he was here, i cld have adjusted my lunch slot..

ya.

so poor me had to makan alone.

but.

i was clever enough to ask dear joan to makan with me. =) ya, n she came in earlier to makan with me lor.. to return the favour, i treated her lunch.

i wonder if you do think of me at least once a day.

yesh.

just once a day.

just once a day, n u can make jiarui very happy...

so. tell me.

do you think of me for a sec/ a min in a cycle of 24hrs??

the comm meeting with the director today was like.. i dunnoe crap?

had lunch with mr stone n zei. i actually changed my lunchtime with idayu so tt i can makan with zei n avoid mr stone lar.. i was supposed to have the same lunch break as him initially. but in the end, mr stone delayed his lunch n makan with me n dave.

-_-"""

i asked mr stone in the afternoon whether he wanted to join me n muay fan for dinner after work. n he rejected me, saying tt hes gg home for dinner. ok lor.. nothing i can do.

but. dunnoe why when we were knocking off, i heard him telling zei tt he dont noe if he shld join us for dinner.

*grin*

anway, he din decide till he reached the bus stop. n he decided to just go with us n have a drink lar.. ma jiam like we so pathetic, need him to tag along.

but. well.. i was kinda happy abt this pleasant surprise.

had dinner at MOS n we idled there for quite some time.. toking rubbish. n making fun of zei n his bbb. hahaha. biggest. blackest n best. haha.

dear n winston changed their phone to k700i le leh.. hai.. feel like changing my phone ONCE AGAIN!!! nvm. i'll get over this one.

oh oh oh!! forgot to mention sth real impt!

i managed to persuade zei to sing me tong hua when we were gg to the toilet today!!! even though his singing cannot make it.. but its the fact tt he actually willingly sing for me tt makes me feel damn happy. hahha.. u must noe tt zei DOES NOT sing tt easily one. haha. yup. quite proud of myself. for making him sing for me.

*gee*

n heres a link to watch the tong hua "mv"
http://www.lcbtv.com/flash/movie/tonghua.swf

i did updated my blog last nite. just tt it wasnt posted successfully.

let me start retyping the entry..

i was feeling super shagged n tired yesterdae.. coz was "forced" to do ot from 10pm to midnight. ya lor.. original shift was from 12.30-10pm lar.. then haiyo... so damn long man.. indra just came n said: "u wan to do ot? i need at least 5 volunteers." tmd. ma jiam like saying a statement n not asking a qns.

ya.

anyway, had lunch with zei.. ya.. i enjoyed his company alot. really. very nice guy lar.. somehow yest afternoon, i became his finance consultant. haha. damn funny.

i was quite pissed mr stone lar.. over what happened on mon night. so was trying to avoid him during work. but somehow, i seemed to be interacting more frequently with him instead for the entire day.

in fact, i went to pester him to work ot as well. yesh. pester is the word man. yesh. n eventually he did lar. with zei as well.

btw, i dont think tt the card i wrote to you made any difference.

m feeling so stupid for writing it now man.

cant help it.

bi-polar.

i havent had that feeling for i dunnoe how many ages le man... probably say 5mths?
mmm.. missed that feeling lar..

but then again, its that feeling that is making me confused.

*sigh*

anyway, i enjoyed my day today.

thanks. =)

though i was kinda tired after a while..
sleeping in haagen das wasnt bad..
just tt i cldnt shut the music out man..
irritating.

otherwise, it wld have been such a nice nap, either lying on the sofa or on you.
nice feeling.

lets have it some other day again alright?

btw, pet, u really excite me man. i tot it was him who smsed me this afternoon lor.. 1/2 of me was happy n excited, but the other part of me was praying tt it isnt him man.. if not i really wont noe what to do man.

him or you?

heng. i was spared from tt.

anyhow, im feeling quite happy now. i called agnes n asked her to go to the pipe organ concert with me next fri. haha. managed to get her to go with me. YEAH! its so interesting. i mean ive nv seen a pipe organ b4 man. sunya is gg as well. shall ask yj. but most prob she'll tell me she got no money. shall go get the tix tmr.

damn it lor. i just went to check my singtel mailbox.
1. i got a rejected docket. trying to get dear joan to check out why tt docket was rejected. i think might be becoz i send SRV n indra has already sent ticket. mm. i think so.

ok. now i noe why my docket was rejected. joan checked for me le.
' kindly note tt cust on tos, unable to prov clr alert n payr upon xi of ar n vm
kindly readv '
shldnt be a big problem. just call back sub n explain tmr can le.

2. tt stupid black chicken. granted me urgent leave the other day n nv update in system. great. so now my pay is delayed for a week.

whatever.

i just know that i enjoyed my day today. thanks again.

DO NOT use reverse psychology on me.

alright?

it just pissed me off to the max.

thanks robby for clearing up the air for me.

though i still dun believe everything was such a coincidence.
it cant be i always closed the msn window when hes about to reply me rite?

not once but twice.

this is crap.

im forcing myself to grow more skin man.
more n thicker skin.

what the fuck.
im getting real fustrated over here man.

ARGH.

whatever.

just read debbie's blog.

**smile**

thanks for naming me as your DEAREST jiarui.
hahaha

so sweeeeet of you deb!

n yesh.. i wanna meet u soon.. so tt i can start reading tt book. haha
kinda excited!

i decided to take out my snoopy puzzle to do today. 300 pcs alright.

n i did it. yeah.
but... there were like 12 missing pcs??

i took it out for like quite a no of times, each with the determination to complete the puzzle.
tt must be the time when i lost those pcs.

oh well. nvm. i finally completed the puzzle.

tts good.

im proud of myself.
though ming hao did help me at the end.

now. im in the process of piecing a thousand pc one. bot tt super long ago. yeah. im challenging myself now. to piece like 5-6 donald ducks together.

by the time i complete it, i wld be donaldphobic man.

a big sincere thank you to those who remembered my bdae.

THANK YOU!

**just a note: even mcdonalds smsed me yest morning to wish me happy bdae. haha. crap.

finally i had the chance to tok to robby at work. n he shared with me all his analysis.

1st of all, one must noe tt i do not call mr stone 'mr stone' for nothing. u can tok to him, nudge him on msn like mad, hes just oblivious to it. n he seldom will initate chats one.

all along, he doesnt really tok to robby online. but according to mr robby, when mr stone came online this morning, he immed asked him how r they gg to celebrate my bdae.

tt.. to mr robby means tt mr stone cares quite abit for me.

n he oso shared with me their conversations here n there.

hopefully.
*shrugs*
wo bu zhi dao.

ive been thinking alot. n im still unsre of what to do.
all i noe is all have to be put on hold til i quit singtel.

if not we wont be spared all those teasing.

anyway, when we go out, we have to be like so hush hush abt things.

i mean its like we din even say we're gg out, others will already be teasing like 'eh.. tmr u 2 gg out ar??'

can u imagine if they noe we're gg out?

dont wish to imagine.

shifu says an age gap of 6 yrs is huge.
i agree.

think i better kiv this case 1st.
till i quit.

morning was fun.
afternoon was fun.
evening was fun.

night was crap.

went fav hangout place with muay fan this morning. were in the puzzle shop for damn long. ive already found for myself my next target. this winnie the pooh 300 pc puzzle.

went to work. n everyone was like super happy for me.. i dunnoe why. joan was kinda jealous tt everyone's celebrating my bdae n giving me presents.. n hers was like 26 feb? n nothing was done? i mean we din noe lar. anyway now me n my dear can celebrate our mthly bdae together!! haha.

dear was quite sweet lar.. sent me this mms with a pig's face n a bdae song. hehe. thanks dear!

after tt, ya, got the puzzle from robby, dave, mr stone n jos. its damn chio man. really. sincerely appreciated the efforts. dear is mad. kept asking me to consider robby. crazy. way off man.

m gg to hang tt pic somewhere in my room. have yet to decide where. love it partly becoz mr stone contributed part of it. i noe its stupid. but.. so?

got a surprise bdae song from iye. **stunned**
thanks anyway. *hug*

makan with zei, robby n joy. ya. today really like having party man. order so much food.

oh i omost forgotten the same birthday girl!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LI ERN!!!
LOVE YOU!

after dinner, n i got this call from ming hao? apparently they are locked out of the hse? becoz bai baba took ma's keys, n he went drinking with his friends??

anyway, i told the bizzare story to indra, n she let me take urgent leave. to go home to save my ma n bro.

then just b4 i left, indra granted everyone in the team break. n then was the cake cutting ceremony?? so embarrasing.. to have so many pple singing for me.. even those night team pple co-ordinated by switching off the lights n singing the bdae song together. damn paiseh lor.. really. but anyway. damn touched.

tt joy was damn stupid lor. she purposely placed the candles round the cake? my god. how to blow??

n i din got a chance to make a proper wish. so wasted.

left in a hurry n got home ard 9.45pm. yeah. ma was damn pissed off lar n even wanted to locked bai baba out of the hse lar. but she cldnt find a way. yea.. so.

when bai baba finally came home, he gana beaten by ma lar.. n screamed at like mad. really. ma just went on n on.

somehow later on, dunnoe why, bai baba was like totally emotionless. really. it was damn scary lor. its as if hes gg to die anytime. really.

tonite, my special night, turned out to be a horrifying night for me.

for tt few hours, it was hard to get by. i faced the possbility of losing someone who's so impt to me.

u might think tt im being too kua zhang.

but honestly. its really tt scary.

i mean, the whole family din noe whats wrong with him. he just lie on the sofa with the very tong ku expression. n he refused to tell us whats wrong. refused to go n see the dr. n refused to respond to what we were saying to him.

what matter the most to me in those few hrs is tt hes still breathing. well.

at last, he seemed to be feeling abit better. n what we deduced is tt he went to drink quite abit on an empty stomach. served him right!

well.. at least things are fine now.. n i can go n sleep in peace tonite. at least with 1 less prob.

today is definitely not a day to face disappointment...

one came after another..

surprisingly.. the 1st one tt came.. tt was from you.. wasnt like a super great disappointment to me.. its was of accepted range.

oh well. nvm.

anyway, ive got no idea why pple are making a big fuss out of my bdae. joy told tt black chicken tt its my bdae 2dae. n she actually asked me if i wanted 1/2 day leave? she said if calls are few today, she wld grant me 1/2 day leave coz im the bdae girl.

ok.

n theres alot of fuss over the cake thingy. n its actually putting muay fan into a spot. i dunnoe how to save her as well. but its definitly gg to be so paiseh for me later on in the day.

oh, n robby actually got muay fan to help him buy the jigsaw puzzle tt i wanted very much.. but too lazy to do? ya. got the frame n puzzle lar.. n hes sharing tt with mr stone n dave. yup. n he bot the puzzle home to do lar.. ya. heard its done.

great. can hang in my room.

came home n everyone was aslp. ya. but, found out tt my family actually bot me an angie the choice cake? its blackforest. the exact one i wanted when i went into the shop yesterday. wondered who chose it man.. feeling quite touched lar.. even though its just a small cake. but well...

collected quite abit of 'happy birthday's from friends. yeap. the latest one was from him. kinda nice feeling.

as usual, was toking abt mr stone with robby over msn. yeap. he said he got lots to tell me abt mr stone tmr.
*shrugs*
i wondered what.

today i decided to tell rj abt mr stone. yesh. n she came up with lots of crap ideas. ridiculous ideas like kiss n run. so dumb lor. or hug n run. siao.

during dinner time, joy, zei, mr stone n i went to shop n save there to makan. we saw jos n wayne [her bf]. jos is like 18 this yr. wayne is like 25. n the 1s thing mr stone commented when he saw the two of them together was: "isnt tt age gap big?"

i tot: so.. he actually minded age difference..mmm...

joy heard tt comment n immediately said:" then what abt u n jiarui?"

n there was this moment of awkwardness btw the 2 of us. b4 the 2 of us started making stupid comments to brush things off.

**shrugs**

been thinking quite abit of him..**sigh**...

does age gap = problem...?

anyway.

happy birthday to myself.

m now in the process of confiding in robby.

n i think hes crazy man. actually apologised to me for changing shift with mr stone this coming sat.

just becoz sat is my bdae. n he din realise? n unknowingly agreed to change shift with mr stone..
heh??

doesnt matter to me. whether hes supposely "celebrating" my bdae with me not.

my 19th bdae is gg to be SOOOO "HAPPENING" man..
with work n stuff..
so fucked up man.

cant even celebrate..

while walking to tt stupid singtel buliding this afternoon, muay fan n me were like toking abt zei.

yesh. we've concluded tt hes a grade A**** guy.
-doesn't smoke
-doesn't club
-not buaya
-very xiao shun.
-very concious abt other pple's needs.

eg: zei, mr stone n i, the 3 of us love this nutri soy soya milk lar. so the 2 guys they bot like 2 bottles.. the big big ones. n they always shared btw themselves. but zei will always come n ask me if i wan. n the 1st time they bot rite, he actually went all over the place to find a cup for me.. coz they 2 always drink from the bottle itself. but, in the end, i see him find til so xin ku, so said tt i din wanna drink lar.

today, they bot the soya milk again. n zei just went to get me a cup lor. mr stone's cup. somemore washed for me? when i din even say i wanted lor.. see.. just a ti tie guy.

mm..feel so proud tt ive got such a zei man. haha. but today's hes like not his usual self. think hes sick. better go n see a dr man zei.

anyway, i was gg to tok abt the buzz session today. yeah. i sat like opposite mr stone and thru out the whole session, i was just practically staring at him. theres sth different abt him today. physically. i cant pin point what is it exactly. but i think its the hairstyle.

anyway, he looks super attractive today. hahaha.
no matter how many faults i can find in him.

im gg to start my plan all over again.
think i better confide in robby. hahaha.

better treasure the time when we're gg to be in the same team.

*grin*

i love this song man.

tong hua by guang liang..
recommended by robby. thanks man.

its like the lyrics is so sweet and stuff...
really.

i can just keep having this song on repeat mode man.

http://blog.sina.com.tw/archive.php?blog_id=3582&md=entry&id=8038

how nice it wld be if everything is like those in fairytales.. with nothing else but happy endings.

do not wake me up to face reality.

let me spend sometime dreaming in my own world.

this is scarely man.. joy told me over lunch tt debbie has been fired. so has ron.

i think i better quit on my own b4 getting sacked man.

dunnoe why, now it seems like im always toking to jasmine when we're waiting for calls. n shes my most recent toilet partner. haha. ya. today got her to go toilet with me like twice. n of coz. both were gossip sessions. ya. she told me abt debbie. apparently, when debbie was pretty new in this line, she gave the wrong info abt data3 price plan. so in the end, we had to waive off like $4k for the cust? wow. tts alot man.

anyway, im gg to miss her. she reminds of francine man. all the basket stuff.

din get to tok much to muay fan today coz she had cliff for double banking. she omost double bank til she vomit blood man. i dont have a good impression of cliff. yup. so ive tried my best to steer far awae from him.

had some conflict with black chicken today. but managed to resolve it lar. small matter lar. so dun argue with her.

had like 79 calls today? so towards the end, i din really bother to take anymore calls. i dun care if my AUX is high. who cares man. i just sneak over to zei's side n started chatting with him n joei.

came home feeling hungry. gastric is here again lor. so m now in the process of cooking hotdogs to eat.

btw, made a damn stupid mistake yest. for buying you slippers. please return me the money!!! i want the FULL amount back! will get sth for you for your mthly bdae.

so paiseh man.. to have to demand the money back. but tot i rather be thick skinned to ask for the money back than to have you walk away.

do not laugh. when u believe in sth, tt sth will happen in the way u believe it to be. really. no kidding.

ask pet n rj. the 3 of us + clarissa gave a pair of slippers to evelyn so as to make her walk away from us. n she did. eventually. within a mth or so right? cant remember. just noe tt we got rid of her.

yup. so now u noe what jiarui means when she give u a pair of slippers/shoes. haha.

yesh. i do not want to experiment at all. ok. im just paying for the slippers first. not buying for you.

the whole day ive been facing mixed emotions.

joy.
satisfaction.
awkwardness.
sadness.
crazyness.
jealousy.

all kinds of weird weird feelings.
all kinds of combinations of weird weird feelings.

tts probably why i decided to add tt msg bhind the envelop at the bus stop this evening.
it took me very very long debating whether i shld give you tt envelop.

n of coz. i've tot alot abt your rxn n possible interpretation of the content of tt card.

just wanna thank you for:
1. spending the day with me today.
2. accompanying me to SIM.
3. letting me have the opportunity to use my visa mini.
4. being my model.
5. letting me have the chance to teach you how to "grow up"
6. buying kam kam for me.

greatly appreciate it.
really.

i think i'll prob start drooling on kam kam tonite man.
then it'll probably start to smell the same as sexy soon.

anyway, after tt i went to meet muay fan lar. n we went to our fav hangout place!! CAUSEWAY! hahaha.. its super near our place. yea. anyway, we're always like walking ard there as if we've nv been there man. crazy right?

we stayed in the jigsaw puzzle world for quite sometime. i was trying to make up my mind to decide what to buy. in the end,i got convinced to get a 200pc tigger puzzle.

dun look down on this 200 pc puzzle. its the most ive done before alright?? except for the one i did for you.. but tt was like 1/2 cheating.

yup. so this my new record!!! somemore i completed within 1.5 hrs!!!
m so proud of myself man.

btw, we're gg to try our best to spend $500 within 6mths in tt shop. just so tt we can qualify for the membership card? mad right?

i kept singing the tong hua song to her man.. hahaha. i think she likes it. becoz she just keeps quiet n listen to me sing. hahaha. ive got a fan man!

oh, i found out pet n rj gg to get me lingerie for my bdae. great man. AGAIN. pet tells me tt they're gg to MAKE one for me. ya man. go to the beach to pick up the coconut shells right??

-_-"""

winston called me today just to ask me abt the M1 mailer i got lor. i think hes mad. he actually tot i cld remember the prices of the handsets man. n he called me like 4times? n out of which the 1st 3 were missed calls? crazy. shall bring the mailer for him tmr lar. i might.. might be taking up the offer for N6260. but jos says tt the phone is crap. shes using it. so i guess she noes the best.

anyway, i cant bear to stop using my t610. its the mp tt ive used for the longest period of time so far man.

i cant bear to part with the content in tt phone.
its my bao bei.

oh well. im sitting here, at this hour, writing a card to you.

ive decided to be honest le.

**shrugs**

lets wait and see the outcome after ive post the card.

ive just started to write the 1st sentence:
'oh well.. this definitely isnt the correct card to write what ive got to say to you in. but..'

whats wrong with me man. ive got so much things to say. yet theres sth tts holding me back.

the lack of courage.

to voice out my thoughts.
to let you see the true me.
to let you into my world.
to face rejection.

i really must come up wif a way to force myself to be honest with you.
what im thinking, what im hoping, what i'm expecting.

i know if you're not aware of all these, there isnt gg to be any outcome. things are gg to carry on without an direction at all.

somehow, i think you can sense what's gg thru my mind.

i, unfortunately, am not able to sense whats gg thru your mind. i guess your thoughts, or shld i say actions are too complicated for me to deduce sth out of them. all of them dont make a single sense to me.

actually, for all these shit tt i get, i should really thank myself.

ni tai kan de qi zi ji le jiarui.
do you really think you can handle things all by your own?

**sneer**

you think you're having the upper hand. but in fact. you're the one who's at the losing end.
wake up man.

sunya, mr stone n jos thanks for listening to me. listening to me complain abt tt fat wolf in sheep skin.

aids in the release of presure in me man.

i told mr stone tt ive nv seen such a fat wolf. n he told me to take a pic of her n email all my friends n to call the zoo, saying tt they might be interested.

haha. i agree man!

n shes a se lang!! coz shes a sexist!

now its time to update alvin.

i got a big big scolding from indra the black chicken today. so loud til joy heard very single shit she scolded.

shes so fucked up man. tmd.

felt like telling her straight in the face tt i quit. but.. damn the contract.

i'm leaving on the dot man.. hopefully i get lots n lots of cases, n i'll all throw them back at her and tell her straight in the face: "Im leaving. enjoy all these cases. settle yourself."

n i'll email lily loo myself n asked her to go n ask tt chicken what she did to her staff to agitate them til this state man.

congrats man. uve got the award for being the most dispised team leader award in the entire call centre.

ive already put in my effort in the job. already very patient n always sounding like a dog over the phone. how fucking dare u tell me tt im not fit for the job. its not even like ive been talking to those damn customers in a very irritated attitude. i think u're the one whos not fit for the job man! i dun need u to come n tell me tt. u can go n tell leka for all i care. if u cant keep me, so be it. i DO NOT want this job alright?!

7 bucks per hr in exchange of all those screaming over the phone, in exchange for the names u get, in exchange for the shit u get from indra, in exchange for the work load tt u've. in exchange for the quotas u've got to meet.

IVE GOT ENOUGH! it is so bloody not worth it.

from today onwards, im on my countdown plan.
26 days more to go.

bless all those pple who are joining our team tmr. good luck to u guys.

this is *argh*

i cant get past a day w/o thinking of you man.

it sucks.

n it fucked up my day.

went out wif pet today after work. n we've still not get anything for rj. great man.

basically we were like shopping for our own stuff today.
bot sth with pet.. haha. only she noes what we bot.

got the salesgirl at dorothy perkins to "transfer" the skirt tt i wanted to the ps branch. she says most prob it'll b there on tues/wed. well. ask beca to help me collect lar.

met quite a couple of pple today. yesh. saw pei cheng?? n zhong xian?? its like walked past each other then eh... this person looks so familiar. then realised it was the 2 of them.

yesh. debbie. i saw pui seng! haha.. update u the next time rd.

n we saw vanessa yeo!! so long nv see her le lor.. n she still recongnised me man.. n sort of tok while we were walking. heard from her, cara was actually back in sg when we had the ij gathering.. but everyone tot she was still in aus, tts why nv invite her. n apparently she was quite upset over tt.. my god. vanessa's bossoms are real huge man.. really. no kidding. ask pet man.

ya. conclusion is we might be meeting on tues to get sth for rj again. n i got this feeling we'll end up shopping for our own stuff again. **oops**

oh! i just learnt from joy tt we can dl music scores online. im printing the full piece of the Sonata K330. gg to learn till the whole pc is done. hopefully lar.

sometimes im so confused by the whole lot of brain activities gg on inside my mind man..

can someone enlighten me on them???

m i still waiting for you....???

i hope i am.

at the same time,

i wish i am not.

but honestly think i am still holding on to you.
no matter how unwilling you are to let me hold on to you.

i really dunnoe what mmpu is doing over at mcc man! what the hell lor.. everything oso nv process.. n heard from robby who heard from aziz tt there were like 3k new line applications not done?? my god!

anyway, i made like 2 calls there today.. which is considered alot for a day. n made another friend there. hes called andrew. yup.

n guess what? when i went back to his notes in icons, it says sth like tt:" pi [phone in] by 1626. as per req[request] by cherry, line recon[reconnected]. "

what the hell lor. cherry again!! argh. IM NOT CHERRY!!! **faint**

whatever.

went for piano after work. yup. n today ive been super productive man. for tt 1 hr, i only hear how to play 1 bar of notes. which is.. ermz.. FANTASTIC MAN! $50+ just for a bar of notes.. n the best part is i have yet to get the timing right man!! its so damn hard lor... quavers against triplets... really got to make myself sit down n practise this weekend man.

btw, GYM told me the story of her GYG. hahaha.. make sure u make him call u bibi okok? hahaha. n thanks for buying tt book for me!! **MUACK**

tt robby ar.. got his friend to teach him how to play tt song [tong hua].. n now hes asking me if i wanna learn from him... $100 for 4 lessons? siao. just ased him for the score will do.

**sian**

tmr another fucked up day... 8-4. how the hell m i gg to wake up so early man.. im really starting to dread the work.. gg to quit real soon.. n go n take up some courses.. n of coz prepare for my piano exams.

GYM!!! u made me so excited over GYG lor.... now im like so gan jiong for ur update!!

call me tonite okok??? if u dun, i'll call u! haha.

n make sure u got time to tok to me ar... dun say u got to tok to him later ar... then i'll be so sad man..

hahaha...

schedule wef next week

week 1:
monday: 1430-0000
tuesday: OFF DAY
wednesday: 1430-0000
thursday: 1430-0000
friday: 1430-0000
saturday: 1500-0000
sunday: REST DAY

week 2:
monday: OFF DAY
tuesday: 1230-2200
wednesday: 1100-2030
thursday: 0900-1830
friday: 1230-2200
saturday: REST DAY
sunday: 0900-1800

week 3:
monday: 0830-1630
tuesday: 0830-1630
wednesday: 0830-16300
thursday: REST DAY
friday: 0830-1630
saturday: 0800-1600
sunday: 0800-1600

ive got an unexpected request today man.

robby ask me to teach him piano.

haha. he might be my 1st student man!
so funny.. to have such an "overaged" student..

anyway, he just wanna take piano becoz he wanna learn this song called "tong hua" by mmm.. i cannot remember his name.

i told him i cant just produce the score for him like tt.. asked him to ask his other friend or joy to do it.. can only teach him how to play..

want me to go n write the score out?? u must be mad. n tt will definitly yao wo de ming man!

bai baba passed me a card just now.
knew who was it once i saw the address.
-rj-
i tot she sent a bdae card... but i realised tt it wasnt one. it was a card tt says like missing you n stuff.. something along tt line.

the card was full of words man.. read the 1st sentence, then i just started to tear..
dun ask me why. i dunnoe.

decided to put the card aside for a moment n went to bathe.

straight after my bath, sat down n read the card.. started to tear all over again..

im feeling so damn gulity man.. its like i dunnoe why i somehow think tt ive always treat her very unfairly. somehow i get irritated by her at times... n will sort of neglect her in some areas sometimes..

n its like all along shes so nice... i mean, shes does not do things tt pple would classify as nice.. but when u think abt the intention of her actions, u noe its nice. yeap.

**sigh**

feel so bad man.. n after reading the card, i think she seems to noe me the best man.. i dun even need to tell her whats happening in my life.. shes like somehow able to sense the state i am in. whether im happy/upset/ what so ever.

so gulity im feeling.. that ive just arranged with pet to go out on sat to get a present for rj. for her blated bdae... prob arrange for a "gathering" sometime next wk.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME IN THREE!!!!

well. *shrugs* tts the "slogan" rj came up with for the 3 of us.. i noe its dumb.. but we often use tt. right pet?

today has been the most satisfying off day ive had so far man.
really.

woke up ard 10am this morning. **yawn** had such a good night sleep.
*satisfied look*

actually was gg to macs for breakfast with ming hao one.. but then he said tt ah ma called to say tt she was coming over in the afternoon.. yup. so just waited at home for her to come, together with our lunch.

left together with ah ma as i was gg causeway to meet muay fan. yup. its a nice feeling to take bus together with her.. n guess what? she actually held my hands!!! ma dun even does tt... anyway, the feeling was erm.. very warming.. dunnoe exactly know how to describe it. its.. just nice. yesh.

went shopping with muay fan.. just walking ard... look look see see. shes mad man.. she bot a jigsaw puzzle today. a mickey mse one.. not cheap ok.. n she saw muthu lor.. i only saw his back. n the both of us met idayu at pizzahut.

in conclusion, today has been a great day.
a very very relaxed day...

i appreciate your efforts to spare a tiny bit of time in your life for me.

thanks for that.

i forgotten to update abt mr stone.

recently the 2 of us have sort of drifted apart.. ive got no idea why...

my intuition tells me tt hes taking note of how close im getting to zei.. i highly think tt he thinks i like zei..

**faint**

anyhow, his transfer to perm night shift has been approved. great man. hes moving most prob to jeff's team on 4/4.

tts fantastic.

as if i need something else to make things worse..

whatever.

today is such a long long day man.. its either retarded calls/cases. damn irritating man.

1st thing in the morning got this guy calling to configure email settings on his o2 XDA phone.. im like... how the hell i noe rite? did transfer to mobile internet.. n what the hell lor.. make me wait so long.. heard from jos, they're at training.. in the end, bo bian have to send cb.

anyway, i got complained by a cust today. must be tt mr lee lar.. ask me to teach him how to do divertion of calls to voicemail when he cannot answer the calls. i gave him the wrong info i admit. i helped him diverted all calls to voicemail.. ie. his hp will not ring at all. from what i heard from this woman called joanne lee, he shouted at the CSO who got tt call lar.. im so sorry man..

its so funny how the whole team seems to be involved with so many cases at hand.. esp those abt new sign up not done n snc. snc activities are forever pending n not done til u call mmpu. damn corked up lor.. the system. dunnoe what they doing at mmpu man.. must be lazing ard.

ya, as i was saying, our team got alot of cases to investigate n stuff.. n heng indra not here man. if not she sure blow up one lor... for covering we had radha. shes dman nice man... how i wish she's my tl man.. n of coz.. lily!!! shes the best man!

btw, i sort of made a new friend today!! hes called joe. from billing dept. got to noe each other coz ive been transferring calls to him yest n today. yest call was from someone who disputed abt the HABBO Hotel sms charges.. $200+ lor.. wan us to waive lor.. mad ar?? furthermore ur kids did use the service lor...

anyway, joe helped me wif tt case lar.. this morning, transferred this call from this cheapo ass.. who wanna dispute abt global sms. $0.45? transfer to joe again. n he was asking me why i keep getting dispute cases. PRECISELY MAN!

yup. so somehow we're friends now.. though ive not seen him b4.. all i noe is tt he's a malay.

after work, was really totally dead man. actually wanted to go for a haircut.. in the end, decided not to waste money.. so went to makan at j8. yeap. went shopping ard.. n guess what?? i saw this pair of heels which i simply love!!!! its white in colour n has this very pretty flower at the side... damn nice lor!! muay fan oso says it looks nice... but they dun have my size.. only 1 size bigger... DARN!!! i really love tt pair lor...

**sigh**

just a point to take note.

i am NOT on KIV mode aright?

DO NOT attempt to put me on KIV mode alright?

i noe.. i appear not to mind being on kiv mode.. but deep down inside, i absolutely mind alright?
its kinda sickening u noe..

just put urself in my shoes man.

n

use ur ass brain to think.

its nice to have someone who attempts to comfort u after knowing tt the day hasnt been a great one for u.

someone who actually bothers abt u..

thanks alot to tt someone who's no longer gg to be there after 8/4.
anyway, i appreciate ur efforts.

you've been a wonderful friend.

thank you.

once again, im trying to calm myself down after facing such a shitty com.

**deep deep deep breath**

im gg to explode soon.

i think i better go offline now man. before i blow my top.

i think im really getting real bad tempered these days.

life just sucks to the max.

i think sister is coming very very soon... tts why im feeling so grouchy this couple of days.

its so irritating to be expecting sth out of somebody, n in the end, reality just give u big tight slap on your face.

that totally hurts.

its crap not to have expectations.

that.

for me.

cant be done.

I AM SO DARN PISSED OFF!!!!!!

IM GG TO SMASH THE ENTIRE COM SOON MAN....

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

forget it. i think i feeling super grouchy today.

**swing swing swing***

i bought ipod mini today... ok. i mean yesterdae.

i took early leave n came up wif some vrap for indra.. n i rushed down wif pet. i feel so bad abt askingher to join me to squeeze all the way to the apple booth lor.. she said she was hungry lar.. n obviously shes not very into tech stuff.. ya... na wei ni le pet.

but i chose the green one. dun tell me its ugly. becoz its a beauty!

actually, i went with the mentality of getting pink. then pet said it wasnt nice. n i din quite like it either. so i asked for grey. 1st guy told me no more grey. when i went to the 2nd guy, he said have to check, but most prob no silver. both asked me to take green. coz they said it was a pretty popular colour. ya. when the 2nd guy came back and said tt theres silver.

so i was like. erm.. green/silver. i looked at pet, n she asked me to choose myself. then the guy said, take green lar.. nicer. then i was like..ok.. u're quite gd looking, ok. take green.

tts how i landed up with a green ipod mini.

anyway, after tt we walked for i dunnoe how long just to find a decent place to makan dinner n to get cash. in the end we went to nooch. it was my 1st time there. not a bad place. n its kayi udon is damn nice.. i think tts the name of it.. anyway, its great! must try!

anyway im having fun exploring my ipod. not exactly yet lar.. but ming hao has sort of exploded more than me le.

alvin, ive removed the password thingy just for u ok...

hopefully u dun have any problems anymore...
and.
u own me one!

i wanna get early leave tmr!!!! but i really dunnoe what reason to give man..... abt my ah gong sick in the hospital again??? mayb it can work again man...

n what the fuck. i got to come up wif some crap to excuse myself from idayu's engagement tmr..i feel so bad man.... all becoz of **ahem**..

if i dun get what i wan tmr hor... i really can kill myself man... how ar?? i mean after all the reaserch i went thru....

alvin, sunya.. shhh.. dun reveal what i wanna buy 1st...

**pray hard**
hope i can get whatever i want tmr man.. at a great price somemore.

i guess things now are still not as before...

not even 1/2 the same...

i guess ive been living in my own world all along...

i guess ive been naive all along...

yeah. i love her songs now..

its suppose to be playing.. but ive got no idea why its not playing.. im just too lazy to change the template le..

yup.

its supposed to be norah jones.

i think jazzy songs are very sexy.

tts the only word i can find to describe them..

n ya, i agree that its totally suitable for *ahem*

well well well.

**sigh**

i just found out today tt my alex is leaving today....

holy shit!

anyway, ros bot a card for us to write all those greetings in it.. yup. n i decided to be "brave" for once.. haha.

this was the msg i left in it:
hi alex, just take care whereva u're gg. oh! n a point to take note, u're pretty shuai... hohoho

hahaha. zei say i very yong gan.. -_-"""""

apparently he got this job as a outdoor sales promoter.. yup.

i'll miss you lex!

ive got no idea why my ear just started to have this really sore feeling yest.. cldnt tahan the pain.. so went to bed real early last nite. shortly after 10. its been ages since i go to bed at this time man..

anyway, im kinda disappointed when i woke up at ard 6+ this morning.. checked my phone.. then fell back alsp, feeling real disappointed...

oh well...........

today 2 people smsed me.

what a surprise.

1st was binglin... my best friend in pri sch.. haha..
he just smsed me today out of the sudden n we just started to catch up wif each other..
apparently, hes working in iras right now.. checking forms he said. n will b gg ns in april.

2nd was hua yue. as usual, advise me this n tt... shes a real nice person lar. yup.

oh, joan told me of her plans.. shes gg to enrol in SIM for a dipolma course!! yeah man! we can be schmates!! tts so exciting boy!

was on the phone wif iye last nite.. til i fell aslp... n woke up trying to find my phone.. din noe why it ended under my pillow..

*shrugs*

i knew that somehow you might still be waiting for me to sms and say tt ive changed my mind.

i was right man.
*grin*

but little would you guess tt i myself was relatively disappointed about tonight...

i really was.

and.

i really am.

i dunnoe why, but the calls just kept coming in to me today. n i actually hit my 2nd highest today lor.. 83 calls. dunnoe why oso.

today, time practically crawled by man..buay tahan... i cant imagine ive got to go thru all those sufferings again tmr.. oh god. please deliver me from evil!!

anyway after work went mos wif muay fan, joei n zei. yup. ate so full til i wanna puke man. was too tired, so shared a cab wif muay fan home.

im dozing off soon le man..

n im thinking if i shld make an effort to wait up early just to go to the bank to settle the mini card thingy. both the cards are here. n the electron card loks damn gross. got to go to the bank to link the mini to my account.. mmm.. see how lar tmr.

ive sort of set my mind on what to do already. nobody's gg to make much siginificant influnce on me le.

yesh.

ive decided tt if i dun get into any courses tt im gg to apply, i'll head straight for nafa next yr. i even told bai baba abt it le.. he was like okay wif it. its ma tt ive got to persuade.

thanks beca for pei-ing me for the entire day. =)

went ps later on wif beca to collect her salary.

its so weird.. every week, on 1 of my off days, i'll definitely be at ps. i dunnoe why. anyway, i was back there today to watch "Hitch" wif her. yeah.

ok, anyway, i was makaning lunch when i got a call from u.alvin. then he was like joking wif me over the phone and toking rubbish lar.. then he kept asking me not to bother abt what ma says.. and even went to the extent of implying tt shes a bit siao.. hahaha.. see! everyone's standing on my side. tts fantastic.

everyone has been nice to me.. trying to make sure im alright and stuff. toking abt this, i just remembered tt i haven replied rj's sms tt day... she must be dead worried tt i go n commit suicide man. i think she must have told pet abt her concern.. tts why pet smsed me to check on me today.

************************************************
im on my "crazy" mode again. i wanted to buy this skirt at Dorothy Perkins today.. really really love it. but in the end, beca managed to dissuade me from buying becoz she noes tt ive overspent last week. tts very very true... i spent like 600+ bucks in like 2 days?

anyway, im gg to get this two jazz cds soon. very soon. and i think im gg down on thurs to get tt skirt. its such a petty to let it remain on that hanger.

oh oh!!! n i finally spotted the "cat pillow" tt i want so damn badly!!
my bdae is coming soon??? might as well let me say what i want rite??

mm... becoz hor, the cat rite i think only you will noe which one im toking abt. hopefully. you're like my only hope left. its tt cat tts the bigger version of don don [the one i bot for you??], the same type of material.. n the flat kind.. its the only surviving one at muee at ps. please please buy for me can??? i dunnoe why, but i think i wld love tt cat extremely much if it is to be from you. it seems to have greater meaning.

**cross my fingers**

i still miss you lots and lots..

really.
just that i nv had the courage to let you noe.

trust your own intuition, and think this way:
"im the one shes refering to."

do not be in denial.

after last nite's dream,

i think its high time that i wake up to reality.

to realise that its not possible for things to mend.

to realise that there isnt the least bit of hopes left.

to realise that its over.

to realise that its time to move on.

to realise that if hopes are stil raised in me,

i'll the sole loser at the end of the journey.

i think i must be dman bored to actually colour stuff for alvin..

but he says tt its nice.. hahaha.

im so sleepy... **yawn**
think i shld go n slp now..

moreover, it has just begin to drizzle.

its nice to cuddle sexy to sleep right now.
and the whole thing will be so perfect if you're right beside me...

muay fan,

i DO NOT have him at my fingertips ok??

and

robby,

u think abit the too much got not? ask me le, still dun believe me.. then whats the point of asking me?? go n ask him instead lar.

n how the hell wld i noe where is he rite?
not as if i keep track of where hes gg, or tt he reports to me what..

a bunch of crazy asses man..

i just found out tt ming hao dun like almonds today!!

bot 2 tubs of ice cream n a box of the grassjelly thingy tt we used to eat in sch.
yumyum.

as im blogging now, im enjoying my ice cream...
mmmmm... zhen hao chi...

*grin*

anyway, my plans for today wasnt really fulfilled.
simply becoz i spent the day sleeping??

oops.

damn shuang!

just read debbie's blog.. hahaha.. chao bo! of coz must trust my taste neh... haiyo. he sure will like it one.. hahaha

was online and suddenly i discovered tt ive got the handwriting tab now!! YIPPEE!!!
all thanks to chengyi!!! YEAH!
THANKS SHIFU!

hai shi shifu hao.. not like tt joei.. help me so many times with the journal thingy, still cannot.. stupid ass man.

now, im gg to wait for him to come online. just to show him tt i can do the handwriting thingy!
hahaha

**sigh**

maybe i shall go sim alone on mon...

it seems to me hes trying to find a more suitable job than this one at singtel..
i mean its like a degree holder? working as a CSO a bit the pathetic got not??

well well well.

think its better for him to go n search for a job instead of accompanying me for the whole day on mon.
its our off day eh...tues have to work already. so not much time to go for job hunt.

anyway, he just sent me his resume. think the photo he has in there is kinda weird man. really can luff when i see it man. told him tt. now he says he wanna go get a haircut to take another nicer photo?

-_^"""

mmm.. alright. up to you.
but i tot u just cut your hair not too long ago??

plans for sun:

- wake up relatively late.. but still in time to go macs for breakfast wif ming hao.
- practise piano like mad
- go to ah ma's place early to bring javier to the playgrd
- FAMILY DAY!!


plans for mon:

1 .sleep in late
2. check out sim in the afternoon [after mr stone has gone to his gym..see.. got to wait for him somemore...]
3. catch a movie with mr stone
4. go ktv wif robby, david, jos, muay fan and mr stone..


just abit of side tracking.
ive just got debbie to get me the book for my bdae!! so happy!!

think i might get the levi bag for myself for bday. now no more hp got present. coz need to save up. so a bag wld be good enuff.

im so damn tired man... after all those walking today.

after class, went to meet debbie to go sim together. did that after makaning lunch together.

was kinda fei lar.. i mean just went there and look ard then took some brochures and came back le?

later we went town to shop coz miss debbie seems to be getting ready to go for this concert wif mr mark??

ma jiam like 1st date man.. hahaha
**FAINT**
then when i made fun of her, she wld go, if mr stone blah blah blah, u wont like tt meh??

-_^???

ok fine.

anyway, toking abt tt arse ar. i msged him ard evening time today lor.. til now he haven reply me lor.. what the hell...

now toking to zei online ar, then asked him to send a warning to mr stone tt im gg to give him hell man. and zei told me tt hes having a very bad day at work...no wonder he nv reply me... wonder what happen meh. hopefully his case[s] is [are] all settled le man.

poor stone...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

okay... i just heard from zei tt mr stone got a lot of difficult calls tonite..

i do noe how difficult things can be when u get such many difficult calls.

woke up pretty early today just to practise abit of piano.. then went for class le.

actually told mrs ang abt wanting to study music.. what shes telling me now is tt to just go and apply a "proper" course and just take whatever tt comes. and probably earn a bit of money 1st, b4 i go n pursue music. unless im really left wif no choice, then go and study music lor..

mmm.. i think what she says makes sense lar. i mean its like i can take the music course anytime.. might as well pursue sth tts like "out of reach" for now. there will still be opportunites for me to study music in the future.

anyway, i dun intend to make it big in music. just b a music teacher is good enough for me. and as she says, as long as prices are alright, a dipolma is good enough for parents. yeah. ive tot abt stuff.. being a piano teacher can get me enough income le. as long as im more hardworking... and definitely i get more than being a tutor.

i dun aspire to become some big shot.

anyhow, ive got to buck up for my grade 8 man! must at least master 75% of the expressions for the 1st pc and learn how to play 1/2 of the 2nd pc.

goal for the week. im gg to start working hard tmr!

**sigh**

i think joan din do very well..and shes pretty upset..
she tells me tt she cant even apply for sim..
n that her maths n econs got 'o'.

cheer up dear!

im currently reading this book called "count your blessings" by Dr John F.Demartini.

its not a bad book judging from the 1st 2 chpts tt ive read this morning.
and i do sort of believe in his theories. i think it makes sense. yeap.

theres this chtp called "Be grateful to your broken heart"
n it enlightenes one on how things can be viewed in different angles.

a bad thing tt happens to you, does have sth good in it.

for eg: i think zei told mr stone abt what happened to me...
just now zei was telling me tt mr stone asked me to go movie wif him on mon...
probably to try to cheer me up...

see! tts called a blessing in disguise..

so.. learn how to count your blessings.



**special note for sunya:

i noe tt this period of time is a very difficult period for you. and i do undestand the higher your hopes are raised, the more disappointed you'll be when they're dashed.

please do believe in yourself and your ability.

im sure there has got to be a way out of this crap. yesh.

do not give up. be brave and walk on.

if i can do it, u can too.



"Mental whispers develop dynamic power to reshape matter into what you want...
whatever you believe in intensely, your mind will materialize."
-Paramahansa Yogananda

was actually gg down sim tmr wif sunya.

in the end, she couldnt go becoz she needs to go somewhere else..

wondered if i shld ask you...
but i guess you wont have the time...
either you still haven get out of the "ive got alot to do" state,
or its.. ermz.. well well well. nvm.

anyhow, ive din have the courage to ask you.

but that doesnt matter tt much now..

ive got my dearest buddy to go down with me tmr. and the best part is she sort of noes the way.. she claims lar. we shall see tmr.

yeah.

im really touched by your tt statement
"just want to let you know, i'll always support you."
really miss tan.

bu kui shi my buddy man.
I LOVE YOU DEBBIE!!

why is it that i find myself expecting more and more from you??

in the past, 1 sms is good enough..

now?

a few smses plus a call plus meeting up
arent even the least bit enough to satisfy my growing desire for you...

A mind is like a parachute,
it works best when it is opened.

Keep your options open.

Face yourself,
Accept yourself,
Listen to yourself.

Soon you will know what you really want.

then work towards it,
bravely.

apparently, nobody seems to be angry with me or what so ever.

yeah.

nobody screams at me.

nobody except myself.

i dont noe how long i sat at tt bus stop man. tearing non stop while im toking to whuever on the phone.

bai baba was like nvm lar nvm lar..just make the best out of everything now.

i actually managed to stop the tearing after i hung up wif bai baba.

then prepared myself mentally to call zei.
and.. i cant believe it.

i started tearing all over again. it wasnt crying ok.

i guess he cld hear all those sniffing over at my end and he went :" eh dun cry lar.. i dunnoe what to do when girls cry one leh.."

then i started tearing even more man.

was on the phone wif him for quite some time. he was nice enuff to put himself on break and went to the pantry to tok to me.

later on, he even went to ask winston abt sim for me. and called me back again to check tt i was alright.

thanks to all those who made an attempt to make me feel better.

but yeah. im alright. really.

honestly ar, getting these type of shit results, i might as well just failed everything.

what the fuck.

anyway, im thinking of gg to nafa for dipolma in music performance.
but the thing is the entrance audition.. that one is tough. but still manageable.

the worst part is tt there'll be this theory test as well, standard equi of grade 5.

holy shit.

when was the last time i did well for my grade 5 theory man.
it was like in sec 2 lor.

ive TOTALLY lost touch le lor.

fabulous.

n the closing date for the application if in march. if i miss this, i'll have to wait til next yr.
so what m i suppose to do man?

furthermore, if i take dipolma wif mrs ang, it takes 2 yrs, abt $300 a mth. this adds up to like $7200 for a 2 yr course.

if i take wif nafa, its like $4200+ a yr. n the whole course takes like 2-3 yrs.

true. if i take wif mrs ang, i get a trinity college dipolma. if i take wif nafa, i dunnoe what dipolma is tt. but definitely expose me to more areas of music.

**sigh**

most prob will be applying urgent leave tmr. i dun give a shit if its approved or not. im gg to tell indra tt my grandpa is very very sick in the hospital.

gg to go sim to check things out.

any volunteers??

HOLY SHIT!

THIS IS KILLING ME MAN!!!

i really wanna peng san le lor.

enough arguing over tt unknown person ok?
please.
STOP.
all the arguing alright??

u people are putting me into a spot.

**ARGH**

crap.

early in the morning, im woken up just becoz of this issue.
what the.....

so, i repeat ar.
no matter what i choose to do over this entire issue,
ive done it.

case closed.
no more argument ar.

im off to bed now.

joei tells me to relax... n tt i can do it.

zei tells me to call me 1st thing i get them. and keeps telling me he'll call if i dun call him.

well well well.

dear friends,
pls do live jiarui alone when she wishes to be on her own.

DO NOT try to contact me unless i do.

if my mobile phone is off,
just stop trying and pls do not flood my sms inbox.

i need time for myself.
to sort out my thoughts.

this is real bad.

everthing seems to come back in a matter of minutes.

as if you've just refresh your window screen and everything little thing [i mean problems in this context] just get displayed one by one on this long long list..

making you scroll like crazy.

i guess things are "programmed" in such a way that as long as it's yours,'

it cant run away from you.

it wont run away from you either.

and of coz.

you cant run away from it.

it already has your name deeply engraved on itself.

conclusion:

face it yourself.

its YOURS.

only belongs to YOU.

ive decided to lock the blog. hopefully can at least keep some pple out.

right now, the head count shld be 8.

ive only notified 8 pple of my password.

************************************

zei asked me to pei him go toilet last nite..
okok.. better go now.. if not later will have such a hard time getting pple to go wif me...

on the way, we had a short conversation.

dave: eh.. i feel like getting a new jacket leh..but i just cant think of any excuse why i need to get myself a new one leh.

me: ??? heh?? u havent come up wif an xcuse or what? or u just cant convince urself?

dave: i cant convince myself.. the only excuse i can come up if its that when im gg uni, i'll feel cold during the bus ride.
*luff luff luff*

me: ????? -_-""""" [nearly wanted to faint]

anyway, im beginning to suspect that he really can be my sister man. always takes longer time to pee than me one leh. im alwaes the one waiting for him outside.
very very suspicious.

i lie in bed
thinking of you

only you

replaying all those moments we shared in my head..

how i wish i cld get them all replayed in real life again...

is it too late for them to be replayed?

or.

shld i say is it too early to judge if they can be replayed again?

**shrugs**

im so excited!!!!

ive received the first red bomb in my life!!!

idayu emailed us n sent us a card to invite us to her engagement ceremony!
so sweet of her...

was discussing what to get for her on the bus ride home just now.. damn excited lor..
ma jiam my engagement like tt.. hahaha

muay fan suggested tt we buy her a pair of couple watches..
mmm.. not a bad idea.
got to ask the rest for the opinions..

apparently we're all gg together after work next sun. yeah man.

lucky girl... to get such a nice fiance...
**envy look**

crap man. i repeated the same mistake today.

i went to dig out the seeds from the chilli, n then use my fingers to rub my left eye.

what the hell.. n now the eye is having this burning sensation man..

once bitten, twice still as toot.

if i tell zei abt it later, hes so gg to luff at me man.

**sian**
later gg to leave the hse early just to go n photocopy my grade 5 theory cert n got to go all the way to mrs ang's hse to pass her the cert.. just for her to register me for the exam..

super mafan.

all i want to do now is to hide in tt tiny world of mine.

all alone.

all by myself.

alright, i'll allow entry only to sexy.

i just want to hug sexy and cry my heart out.

so just leave me alone..
please...

alvin, i appreciate what you do to make me feel better. thanks for being such a great friend.

and joei. im sending this last warning to you.

DO NOT NUDGE ME WHEN IM SWINGING.
I TOTALLY HATE IT!
STOP IT IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO GET SLAPPED BY ME!!!

NO!!!!!!!

I ABSOLUTELY CANT LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

****SCREAM****

great man. ive got the brains to know tt if i do this, i will get a pool of shit.

n yet.

im stupid enough to let myself continue doing this.

KUCF!!!

WAKE UP BITCH!!

THIS ISNT THE WAY TO HANDLE THE PROBLEM!!!!